12/29 Season Three, Episode 11: Wrong Way Home–Scarecrow and Mrs King

Hey everyone! Back to Amanda’s.. and Dotty is reading through old letters of Joe’s with Amanda.
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From the looks of this pile, Joe did lots of letter writing. In umm very neat and creative cursive!
Dotty: Right. Here in this letter from the 3rd…
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… he says “ we’re doubling the distribution of the food south. I’ll have to clear away the dead wood – three months easy.”
[Is this Joe writing that his latest trip will be over in 3 months easy?! This letter to me hints that Joe was working long stretches, and downplaying the time he would be away..kidding himself maybe?? not wanting to acknowledge it?
Oh and.. this gives us a little insight into what job Joe was actually doing while he was away – sound like he was responsible for distribution and efficiency of the aid distribution?]
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Amanda: Okay, this is it… (Amanda joins Dotty with even more letters!) …These are all the letters from ’82 and the rest of the letters from ’83.
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Okay guys- my head hurts- chronological stuff going on here! Winking smile Amanda met Lee in 83, when she had been divorced for a year – so that means the 82 letters were the year they divorced yeah? no? I don’t know!
Dotty: What am I looking for?
[A new outfit.. please! A new outfit!]
Amanda: I don’t know, mother. Anything out TWWH.avi_001220253_thumbof the ordinary. Anything that he doesn’t usually write about, you know. Anything that’s not about the rainfall or how big the lizards are. Maybe he had a fight with somebody – I don’t know.
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[I don’t think it’s a stretch to say this is one of Dotty’s worst ever looks!!! With that scarf thingy she looks like she has a plaid hunchback! It’s the plaid monster!!!!! Thank goodness she didn’t leave the house in it Winking smile ]
…Look, you probably better keep the boys on kind of a tight rein, and if calls try to find out where he is or at least get a number. TWWH.avi_001227160_thumb[1]
Interesting that she hands over letters from 1982/83.. seems Joe didn’t write letters to Amanda about personal stuff.. but mostly about how big the lizards are. lol!
Dotty: Amanda, you would be much more persuasive.
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TWWH.avi_001239572Amanda: Tell him to call me at IFF.
Dotty: Oh! You and that blasted film company!…
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…Here is the father of your children in a lot of trouble and all you can think about is going to work.
[breaks your heart doesn’t it? that Amanda can’t tell Dotty that her work is vital to tracking down Joe. Hmm I do like how he is called ‘the father of your children’ – much better than the love of your life, or even ex-husband.. because it relates purely to the boys and not her relationship with him. ]
Amanda: Mother, I’m going to be looking for him. They’ll know where to reach me at IFF. Everything’s gonna be okay, don’t worry.
TWWH.avi_001251084TWWH.avi_001253086Dotty: Sure…
(Dotty gets on with reading the mail while Amanda gets up and leaves..)
I’d certainly like to know where you get your information.

Whooooo full of irony!!! and.. a bit more of Dotty grumpy with Amanda’s work.. I guess it is reasonable for Dotty to be unhappy about Amanda going to work now because she doesn’t understand how film editing could be so important at a time like this.. hmm..

There’s an interesting slant on this scene in the script that I read something about Amanda not letting Dotty read some letters because they were husband/wife only type letters.. interesting that this was removed. anyone want to share this section with us?

Amanda pulls out of the driveway, Prescott is back following her..
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man.. he is so obvious parked there – surely Amanda will notice him now??!!!! Maybe??

Dotty comes running out of the house yelling after Amanda: Amanda! Vice Principal Dennis is— Amanda??…
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…Amanda!!, phoooone— Ohhhh.
[Too late Dotty! but thanks for telling all the neighbours Winking smile BTW- love how Dotty has just given Principal Mrs Dennis a demotion!]
Dotty returns to the phone: …I’m sorry Mrs Dennis but you just missed her.
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Ahhhh the magic of television..
Yellow flowers…morph into Purpley red flowers!
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We have magically changing flowers!
Mrs Dennis: A detective was at the school today.
[ugh.. this just keeps compounding.. Mrs Dennis makes it sound like a police detective not a private detective. But fantastic that she at least called to talk to Amanda. I think this plays differently in the script and it’s clear she is talking about  a private investigator..]
Dotty: Detective?
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Mrs Dennis: There might be a problem with Joe.
Dotty: Yes, well, well— well it is true, yes, the— the Police are looking for Joe.
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[anyone else thinking – oh nooo don’t tell Mrs Dennis that. she might believe that PI now and keep in touch with him!]
Mrs Dennis: It’s terrible.
Dotty: I know, it’s just awful and— well—
Mrs Dennis: We’ll keep our eyes open here.
Dotty: Thank you for being careful, and I’ll tell her.
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Mrs Dennis: Okay, goodbye.
The scene ends here.. goodbye! Smile

I better pause here for a moment.. anything interesting in this section?? I know it’s not easy to not jump ahead – especially in this episode..hang in there!!
I think there are a few things we hear about Amanda and Joe here in this section that are interesting – it’s good to pick at every little detail no?!! LOL! Winking smile
I mean.. it’s good to take our time and explore little sections of the episode like this which get overlooked as we watch because the episode is so full of highlights!

Huge thanks to Learjet who kept me sane yesterday – I was so stressed with life pressures it just got to me. I won’t get into it here.. Learjet has written a few posts that will be coming up – Learjet would you like to tell others about it?
If anyone else who stops by here regularly would like to do a post feel free (only limitation is- don’t jump ahead of the story oh and it must be smk Winking smile )
I to not pause the walk through TWWHome but if I’m too busy I might need to  – and it’s great to have options. Thanks everyone for helping with the transcribing, and for stopping by or just having patience with me Smile – this blog wouldn’t still be going if not for support! thank you!!! byeeee!

46 thoughts on “12/29 Season Three, Episode 11: Wrong Way Home–Scarecrow and Mrs King”

  1. Oh goodness. I HAD to come back to this post after thinking through some things I commented on post 15 of this episode! Does anyone see that perhaps Amanda leaving Dotty to go to work in this scene shows similarities into how Joe was with work with the EAO during their marriage? There are differences, yes, but perhaps Amanda is getting a new perspective on Joe’s side of things during this season of her life. Dotty seems to have become more consistently present in the lives of the boys (Amanda missed the play in RFTS, she is mysteriously gone for nights now like in UN, etc.). This could be reminiscent to the way things were for Amanda when Joe first began traveling during their marriage. And Dotty responds, “You and that blasted film company! Here is the father of your children in a lot of trouble and all you can think about is going to work.” I wonder if Amanda and Joe ever had a conversation like that!

    Hmm. I could be reading that wrong, but just some food for thought.

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  2. Doesn’t matter if you slow down the walk a bit Iwsod. This is such an interesting episode we need plenty of comment days in between posts. I’m crazy busy too so time to comment is limited, and a bit more time to contemplate each post would be useful.
    Better to slow down than fall over. 😉

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    1. Kiwismh, I love it! ‘better to slow down than fall over’ – words to live by! 🙂

      Oh cool.. thanks for this Kiwismh!
      sorry to hear you are super busy.. I mean I hope it’s in a good way! But.. good to hear that slowing down further will be helpful for you too 🙂

      Hope you are looking after yourself!

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    2. Ditto on the no-worries-about-slowing-it-down, Iwsod! It’s been a crazy busy February for me as well and March has started the same way. Catching up now during a treadmill moment but so glad I didn’t miss as much as I thought I had! Meanwhile, thank you again for this lovely refreshing oasis!

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      1. Hey Raffie! Ahhh so great to hear from you!! and great too that going slower is working for you too.. life is just too busy huh! hope your work life is treating you well!

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  3. Dotty: What am I looking for?
    [A new outfit.. please! A new outfit!]

    Oh. My. Gosh! That had me laughing out loud, iwsod! You’re a crack up! Yes, this has got to be the worst Dotty look yet!

    And I totally feel for Dotty here about Amanda going to work. From her point of view it does seem quite preposterous. On the other hand, what in the heck would Amanda do instead? Just drive around Arlington hoping to spot Joe? Sit by the phone hoping he’ll call? As much as I love Dotty, she really can be a little clueless sometimes.

    Sorry to hear, iwsod, that you’ve got a lot of life pressure right now! Three cheers for Learjet! I’m looking forward to those posts of hers! I wish I had time right now to get back to stats posts, but it just won’t work. If anyone out there wants to pick up and do stats, feel free – I don’t “own” them, you could do them however you like!

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    1. Hey BJo – great to hear from you! Oh good! glad you liked my cry for a new outfit 🙂

      Hey don’t worry it’s all good… we’ll all get through this busy crazy life together somehow.. don’t worry that you can’t do posts right now it’s all good.. smk is never an obligation – it’s for fun.. when we can 🙂

      It would be interesting to see how someone else would approach stats.. I think anytime someone does a post they put their own touches on it and make it their own!
      I wonder what it would be like if someone did walk through an episode instead of me.. LOL.. ummm anyone want to have a go walking through Promises to Keep? whahaahahaaa..
      Would anyone really love to write a walk through an episode? I’ve never stopped to think about it.. but.. I would be open to it – I would probably want to walk through the episode myself one day (just because I noticed thing about episodes and understand them better if I walk through them myself) – but that doesn’t mean that someone else can’t do a walk through also.. Hey the more the merrier!!

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  4. By the way, Iwsod, as they say in my neck of the woods, you do you or do what you have to do, for you. We’re still here and will go with whatever the flow. Sending good vibes, thoughts, and prayers your way. Take it easy!!

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    1. Thanks Valerie, your very kind to say so..I put lots of pressure on myself.. and from time to time I give myself a whack and say – ease up you dill!! 🙂

      I will see how I go.. I may need to slow things down here even further 😦 boooo.. but I figure who knows what’s ahead.. just do the best you can – and thank the heavens for Learjet’s posts 🙂

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      1. You need to take care of yourself Iwsod and don’t worry about us. You know we all can make plenty of trouble on our own, heh heh! Whoops, did I say trouble? I meant thoughtful conversation 😀 I’m sending virtual hugs and chocolate!

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  5. I’ve been thinking about the whole letter writing situation. First of all, I’m not sure if the three months is talking about how long it’s going to take to get the food distributed or something else. But letter writing itself is something that takes time and effort, whether it’s about the weather, indigenous animals, or expressing feelings and emotions. I remember when letter writing was something done on a regular basis. I loved buying stationery and sitting down to write. It was like a little event. But again it takes time and it takes effort.

    To me it’s a bit of a clue about the person of Joe, the status of he and Amanda’s relationship, be it friendly or otherwise, and just how demanding his job was. It make you wonder if he put that kind of time and effort into his family when he was stateside or if he’s going through the motions with the letter writing and feels it to be an obligation of some sort. Is this something he’s doing to prove that he can still be a good father/husband even though he is not wholly present? We know and see that Joe has written, but has Amanda responded in kind? Does she write and tell of what the boys are doing? Did she too feel an obligation to respond? Just a few random thoughts running through my head.

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    1. Interesting questions.. I figured Joe wrote to maintain a connection with his family.. Only to find that nothing can replace his actual physical presence (his sadness earlier watching from the taxi springs to mind) Joe seems to me to be a man full of regret at what he missed out on..

      And letters about the weather and lizards? lol… no wonder Amanda knew the marriage was over 😉

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    2. I think I always figured the letters were for the kids more so than for Amanda. Surely the boys would be interested in the lizards and maybe the rainfall was an educational thing. I could see a dad doing that. I’m also guessing there may not have been a ton to do in Estoccia in the 80s? So letter writing was an activity. I bet Amanda had the boys send letters and she’d put one in from her about the boys as a courtesy. I don’t see their correspondence being anything other than that.

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  6. I hear a lot from divorce couples that they are better friends now that they are not married. I have never understood that because if my husband and I ever got a divorce I wouldn’t want to be in the same room with him. But I have always gotten that feeling from Joe and Amanda that they were better friends not married. I will wait until later episodes to mention what I think is weird regardless that the are friends.

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  7. A few thoughts re the letters:

    Hopefully not all of those letters are from Joe to Amanda. That would just be creepy.
    If they all are from Joe, then hopefully there’s so many of them because he wrote separate letters to each of the boys as well as some to Amanda.
    If they all are from Joe and they all are to Amanda, then I think Lee better up his game. That would indicate to me that maybe the split was something neither Joe nor Amanda really wanted and they both harbor a reconciliation fantasy. 8-(

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  8. The letters have always seemed to be to be directed towards the boys, describing what Dad is doing. I get the impression that Joe was sharing his experiences much like a much loved uncle would share his adventures with nephews back at home. I would also think that Amanda would have noticed anything out of the ordinary in his letters. Maybe she wasn’t tracking tightly with his life in Africa either. It makes me feel as though they were amicable and supportive of what was important to the other,and yet their hearts were very much involved in what they were doing individually.

    Dotty sure does seem rather resentful about Amanda’s commitment to work. It must be so hard here for Amanda to not be able to explain to Dotty. And yet she doesn’t squirm like she would have in the past.

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    1. I think that’s probably the best explanations for the letters, that Joe was trying to stay in touch with his kids, telling them about general stuff and things that they might find interesting or exciting, like the kind of work he was doing (which might help them understand that he’s doing something important to help people and that’s why he can’t be with them right now) and the exotic animals that he’s seen.

      I’ve been wondering what Philip and Jamie think about their dad and his work and why he’s been spending so much time overseas. Up to this point, they haven’t really talked about their dad at all, even when Amanda was dating Dean. Yet, they must have some thoughts and feelings about his absence.

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        1. My experience of (admittedly my) young kids is that they bond the most strongly with the parent/caregiver that is physically around the most. Given that Joe was away from when Phillip was about ?3 years old and presumably has only visited for short periods since then, they probably aren’t emotionally involved with him compared to e.g. Dotty who is always there for them. I suspect that Joe was “doing the right thing” by them by writing (which is very cynical of me, but I’m not a huge Joe fan).

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          1. My impression is that Phillip would identify Joe as Dad but I have a feeling that Joe would be hard on Phillip because of his tendency to “goof off” a bit. So their relationship would be tinged with disappointment on both their parts.
            I see Jamie as not really identifying with Joe as Dad but more like a kindly Uncle. Jamie I think is very happy with the status quo of Mum and Grandma, which is what he knows and is comfortable with. Any adult male introduced into the scenario might be an issue for a child who hasn’t really known a father-figure.

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        2. yes I think that’s right.. the boys might not realise what they’ve missed out on.. and Amanda has certainly done everything to ensure the boys never lacked anything else.. but Joe he knows how much they’ve missed out on..

          and Amanda?? what would she think of that?! [this is where I struggle to get my head around all this!]

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          1. Yeah, at this point I’m not sure that she feels like they have missed out. In the Long Christmas Eve she seemed sad for Karen that she didn’t have a dad around, but her boys were in the same situation. In the same episode Dotty mentions Amanda’s dad and how special Christmas was with him. IMHO, Dotty seemed more concerned about the boys emotionally than Amanda did.

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          2. I get the sense that Amanda has been very busy compensating. (Maybe that isn’t the right word). She has done a very good job of not being negative about Joe and about how things have turned out for her. But even in that it makes me wonder if she hasn’t really dealt with how she feels about the divorce and I think that is part of what was going on with her in this part of the episode, or at least in that scene in the office. I think she just dealt with what life threw at her and moved on. But can you really move on without making peace with the past and can you make peace with the past by just pushing forward? I bet it is hard to transition to the new when the old isn’t really around, meaning with Joe in Africa maybe Amanda wouldn’t be able to work through the reality of being divorced because it isn’t any different really from being married with Joe in Africa.

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            1. Sounds good to me Morley, yeah I was thinking when wrote ‘Amanda had done everything she can’ so the boys wouldn’t feel they’ve missed out – that this is an impossible task – really you can’t replace a father it’s not that simple.. but it would be like Amanda to go gung ho and try to make up the difference .. I’m looking forward to seeing if Amanda has finally made peace with things by the end of this ep!

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            2. I also think Amanda’s been trying hard to compensate for the lack of Joe. In the beginning of the series, she was on the PTA, the scouts’ den mother, and coach for the little league. PTA and den mother are pretty typical mother activities, but often, it’s the father who helps boys with sports activities. I think that Amanda felt compelled to take on all the activities beyond what she would ordinarily do because Joe wasn’t there to help. Dotty has also been doing her best to be a back-up parent, looking after the boys while Amanda’s working and participating in their activities, including the camping, which she doesn’t seem to like.

              Now that I think about it, maybe that’s partly why Amanda made that comment about children without a father in The Long Christmas Eve. Maybe up until that point, which came just after Dotty reminded Amanda about the Christmases that she’d had with her father and how children should have those kind of memories (hinting that Amanda should consider marrying Dean), it hadn’t really hit Amanda that her children might be still missing something. Then, she was considering the life of the woman she was pretending to be and what she missed out on because her father wasn’t there. But, Amanda’s comment hit close to Lee, who also grew up without his father, and I think that his reply that some people do very well without a father kind of put a halt to that line of thinking.

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              1. whooo that does all seem to fit Jestress. I like it..

                you know all this time I’ve seen Lee as being in denial and compartmentalising.. while Amanda was open and honest about her emotions.. maybe in this one area of her life – Amanda also dabbled in some denial and compartmentalisation. Hey, we all need our coping mechanisms.. and Amanda denying the hurt of her divorce, and hurt caused by Joe maybe? (hmm not sure how much to attribute to him yet don’t think we’ve heard the story of what happened yet) – it helped Amanda get through things and keep living.
                Her comments about growing up without a father sound like she was compartmentalising – and hadn’t stopped to think of how it applies to her own kids – too close to home maybe (literally).

                The denial about her divorce was adaptive to a point.. but maybe at this point, Amanda is being held back by her denial of the reality of what happened.. hmm.. I’m going to look out for if this fits with what’s to come.

                But I do like how your comments Jestress, Morley, Melissa and Valerie – this whole idea hints that maybe Amanda has some things she needs to work through. Maybe overcompensating for Joe’s absence could be good to deal with – if this is what’s happening (I’m tossing around ideas because i’m not sure what’s ahead) – because then it would set Amanda free in some ways – free to pursue a new future with a certain hunky spy we all know and swoon over??!! Ahem!!

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      2. I have a nephew that grew up with an absentee father. This father was not out of the country but within the area. I’ve also taught many students from single family homes with only the mother or sometimes mother and grandmother present. So the Amanda and Dotty situation was one of those that was sort of foreshadowing things to come in real life.

        In any case, the younger the boys, the more mythical the father seemed to be. My nephew would wait for hours at the window if there was a possibility that his father would stop by. And no matter what my sister would do, no matter how great and elaborate a birthday party she would give my nephew would be more fascinated by a plastic ball and bat that he would get from his dad who would drop by for five measly minutes. My sister would take great pains, however, to never speak ill of her ex as that would alienate her son so she would bite her tongue. It was the same of the younger male students at school.

        As my nephew got older and wiser and began to see how things really were for himself, his attitude towards his father began to change and some animosity and hostility developed towards his father. However, he was okay with male authority as my father and brother were both very present in his life. Not so much with the older boys as school, they were pretty resentful of most male authority figures and tended to listen to and give less trouble to the female teachers on staff.

        My nephew is now in his thirties and has developed a relationship with his father, but it’s nowhere near what it would have been had his father been more present in his early years.

        The one situation that would be different is that my nephew and students were dealing with a situation that had become a status quo for many of the boys. It was rare if there was a kid who had both a mother and father at home. Phillip and Jamie are unique amongst their friends and they get to see what it’s like to have a father at home and one to do stuff with so that is going to color their attitude with their absentee father.

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    2. Judging by the exerpt that Dotty reads out, the letters don’t seem directed at boys aged under 12 years (“we’re doubling the distribution of the food south. I’ll have to clear away the dead wood – three months easy”). I wouldn’t think Phillip and Jamie would be interested in this stuff. They seem to be addressed to another adult (ie Amanda). Of course, this may just reflect that Joe isn’t in touch with what interests the boys eg the wild animals in Estoccia, sports he plays in his spare time etc.

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      1. It is true that part sounds as if it was written to Amanda. The way Amanda mentions lizards and rainfall, makes it sound to me as though the letters include facts abut what Joe is ding and not so much relational items. So I guess I think f the letters as written for the family living in that house instead of more personal letters.

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        1. I also thought the letters were written to the entire family. And it doesn’t surprise me to have some written in the year they divorced; Amanda, after all, is looking for some sort of problem that is affecting the present moment, and going too far back wouldn’t be helpful. Nor would letters from the time before Joe went to Estocia. I think she feels like she is looking for something political, maybe, or about an enemy, or something. If she met Lee in ’83, and has now known him almost 3 years, that could still be a lot of letters since 1982.

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  9. The part in the script re the “private” letters refers to letters Joe and Amanda exchanged before they were married. Obviously there were times pre-marriage when they spent time apart.
    The plaid nightmare, the magic colour shifting plant, Dotty demoting the Principal – fashion felonies, plot and scene inconsistencies are all part of the fun. 😀
    Dotty can be a bit of a blabbermouth (an innocent blabbermouth, not malicious or gossipy) so it doesn’t surprise me she gives away more info to Mrs Dennis than she probably should.
    The number of letters suggests Joe was often absent for long periods of time. Makes me wonder just how much time he was around, even before they were married.

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    1. whahahhaa.. all part of the fun indeed! 🙂 it’s not smk without it!

      yes I thought so many letters mean’t he was gone a lot.. not that he was especially dedicated 😉
      but then I am inclined not to think too highly of Mr Joking..

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  10. Dotty’s plaid abomination looks like a cross between a hoodie, a scout’s shirt and tie, and a blanket. At least her nail polish matches 😉

    Speaking about Dotty’s nonsemble, the posts I’ve written are about clothing – not the ties (KC is too good at that) or the psychological aspects (I leave that to Morley) but just some fun posts on disguises and Lee, Amanda and Francine’s fashion bests and worst. There’ll be polls so you can vote for your favourites 🙂

    Joe writes a lot of letters. Makes you wonder what went wrong in the marriage. And if he’s let go of Amanda…

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    2. I’m usually pretty clueless about fashion, so I didn’t really even notice what Dotty was wearing until you mentioned it. Now that I look at it, though, it reminds me of a joke from a Scooby-Doo episode. There’s a fashion designer who wants to show Daphne her revolutionary new concept. It turns out to be an evening gown done entirely in plaid with high-heeled hiking boots. “I call it Rugged! It’s upscale elegance infused with the lumberjack lifestyle!” (One of her previous achievements was described as a “mock turtle scoop neck.”) Anyway, I have to admit that the scarf neck style blouse (or whatever it should technically be called because I’m not too good with fashion terms) that Dotty has just doesn’t look like it should be paired with plaid any more than an evening gown should be.

      I’m with Iwsod, too, on the contents of Joe’s letters. He’s written to her a lot over the years he’s been gone, but it seems like at least most of his letters don’t contain many personal details (with the possible exception of the husband/wife type letters that they refer to in the script). For the most part, it seems to be very general stuff about the weather and his latest projects. So, at least from that, it looks like Joe’s been keeping in touch but not really saying much that’s meaningful, more like issuing progress reports than writing personal letters.

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      1. Lol, I can identify with the “Rugged” fashion style. In the coldest days of our winters, I wear boots or tennis shoes, with my dress, for the hour-long drive to church, to keep my feet warm. I walk into the building like that, then change to my dress shoes, and I’m sure I’ve gotten a look or two. I’ve even named the styles: “Chunky chic” and “Glamor athletic”.

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    4. Oh boy, I love fashion, having grown up with a dad and uncle in the schmatta business- can’t wait Learjet! Dotty does look like she’s being strangled by her own blouse ;D

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      2. I’m glad somebody around something about fashion here because I’m clueless. I’m more a jeans and jumper kind of girl who tries to wear ear-rings 😀 . Glad that you can add an informed opinion to complement my ramblings, Jule!

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        1. Oh dear, I am no fashionista by any means, I was the bane of my mother’s existence because jeans have always been my go to (barring workplace clothes) and she loved fashion so! But I am totally opinionated so hey, I am happy to chime in!

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          1. At least you can string a coherent sentence together, which seems beyond me this morning….But am also extremely opininated when it comes to Francine’s bad choices. She can’t see me, but I can see her 😉

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