SMK Parenting Tips: Part one

Welcome to a special edition of JWWM: two posts full of advice on parenting from Amanda, Dotty and even Lee! Thanks to Iwsod, Jestress, Janeth and Valerie for your contributions to this list thumbsup

Firstly, some words of wisdom from Dotty:
1. Support your children and grandchildren in their outdoor pursuits, even when you hate camping.
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Dotty (instructing the boys on putting up a tent): Tie the retaining cord firmly to eyelet “C”,attaching the end to peg “H” and driving it securely in place (Playing Possum).

2. Always defend your child from attack, even if you don’t understand her actions or agree with her.
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Dotty bravely defends Amanda to Dean’s mother after she doesn’t turn up (as she has partial amnesia and has forgotten who Dean is!): But the girl is a wonder. I mean, we had this fichus once that just drooped over and quit one day. Well, Amanda would not let it die. I mean, she repotted it; she nursed it; she talked to it; she pleaded with it. Soon it was back on its feet. (I Am Not, Nor Will I Ever Be, A Spy)

3. The default explanation is that your offspring is irresistible to the opposite sexS2E2_wine__Amanda
Dotty: You see? First you meet a businessman friend, then you meet a friend that lends you a wild outfit, and then you meet a baron. You do have the touch, Amanda. Your grandmother, she met a lot of men (The Times They are a Changin’)
Dotty: I think it’s wonderful that you have a date with an Englishman (Welcome to America, Mr Brand)

4. Explain to your child that all work and no play makes you boring.
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Dotty: Work, work, work. Darling, you’ve got to take some time for yourself. You need something exciting (Weekend).

5. Advise your child about their fashion choices.
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Dotty: Amanda dear, why don’t you invest in a nice pair of overalls for work (Welcome to America, Mr Brand)

6. Appreciate your underappreciated child.
Dotty (about IFF): Ah, well, you see? That is big business for you. Ninety words a minute, no mistakes, and they haven’t even got the decency to say thank you. But there are compensations….
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7. Don’t pry into your child’s private life.
Dotty: Amanda, you know me better than that! I wouldn’t pry into your life. I mean, I have too much of my own life to worry about.
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8. Find your daughter’s favourite book (the Sky Chief Rides Again) for your grandchild’s birthday – risking life and limb in the process (Fearless Dotty)
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9. Spend time with your kids while you still can
Dotty: “It’s terrifying how fast they drift away. I mean, one minute you’re changing their diapers, and the next minute, they’re off in Honduras, getting tattoos.” (There Goes the Neighbourhood).
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10. The mother is always right.
Dotty: Of course I’m right, I’m your mother! (Murder Between Friends)
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Lee’s parenting tip:
11. If you don’t know how to parent, buy!!
Lee with the Panda and the frozen food for Alexei (The ACM Kid)
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If in doubt, get a lollipop.
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12. Make sure Pretzel the clown turns up for Jamie’s birthday party (use blackmail of an IRS audit if necessary)(Saved by the Bells)
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SMK’s parenting tips regarding food
13. Always Eat a Good Breakfast
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14. When someone is sick they want to eat something bland. Not junk!
(Playing for Keeps)
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15. Be consistent with your food advice
No green beans, no dessert (Playing Possum) vs Marvellous Marvin’s (Fast Food for Thought), Pizza (A Lovely Little Affair) and hot dogs (The Wrong Way Home).
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16. When shopping, let your boys ride the shopping trolley in the oh so dangerous car park – it keeps them busy while some lady says isn’t it awful about Betty Bodine getting strangled wouldn’t want the little kiddies hearing that (There Goes the Neighbourhood)
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17. Make sure you are the only person who knows where the marshmallows are hidden (Odds on a Dead Pigeon).

Sometimes a mother just has to look after herself wlEmoticon-smile.png. What’s your favourite SMK parenting tip?  Was Lee on the right track? Next up: more parenting tips from Amanda….

31 thoughts on “SMK Parenting Tips: Part one”

  1. Dotty is the best mother EVER!! And just think of what her parenting advice would have been had she known Mr. Sampson from the beginning….hahaha!

    And yes, Lee does seem to be on the right track. Or at least the easy track. But, hey, c’mon, it’s S1 Lee we’re talking about here!

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  2. Bwah hah hah! I love number 17!!! (If I was lucky enough to have kids, I’d live by number 17.)

    (Since when are Crispy Critters — or whatever they’re called — considered a good breakfast? Aren’t they chocolate rice crispies, or similar? [But what would I know? I’m a boring WeetBix gal!])

    Nice work, Learjet! 🙂 More, please!

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    1. No 17 in the Jet family: Make sure you are the only person who knows where the Whittakers is kept (that’s the best chocolate in the world for those who don’t make a study of international chocolate). And change your hiding place regularly because they will find out!

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      1. I can attest – Whittaker’s is the best chocolate in the world. I have studies international chocolate. Everyone else in my family can keep the marshmallows! I wonder if Phillip and Jamie had marshmallow shooters and that’s why Amanda had to hide their ammunition.

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    2. Oh, and the views expressed by Dotty, Amanda and Lee do not necessarily reflect Learjet’s views. Unless I’m being ironic. (And I’m a boring Oats girl). Where parents more lenient about breakfast in the 80s than they are now? There were a lot of boxes of cornflakes around in our house back then. And the boxes tasted quite similar to their contents 😦

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      1. My parents were very boring when it came to cereal choices we were allowed in the 70s and 80s. No Apple jacks for us, thankyouverymuch! Now my neighbors’ kids had it made – apple jacks, corn pops, lucky charms, – the more sugary and colorful the cereal (and with colours not found in nature!) the better. I think a few of them even added a tablespoon of sugar to their milk before eating.

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        1. Same. I felt deprived during my early years. All my friends had the good cereals. My mom didn’t want sugar in the house. My brother didn’t handle it well and my sister didn’t know when to stop. They’re both older than me. When I came along, we had Cheerios, Shredded Wheat and Raisin Bran. The few times I got Honey Combs, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. I’ve grown up into a boring adult…lol Today it’s plain steel oats, hard-boiled eggs and fruit.

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          1. lol! Sounds like we could use a thread for comparing cereals. 😉 Except, Jestress doesn’t like cereals much. As far as she’s concerned, the only acceptable use for Cornflakes is crushing them and using them for a coating on baked chicken (with some added seasoning). Froot Loops are meant to add color to the art projects of young children. 😛

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            1. I agree, Jestress. Unless you add a ton of sugar to those corn flakes…but then you might as well just eat Frosted Flakes.

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    3. I remember when companies decided that women may have been spending too much time in the kitchen or that working women didn’t have time to waste in the kitchen so all these time-saving, not so good tasting, and not so healthy foods appeared. Growing up in the 70s, my mother allowed us to each pick a cereal and then we had to share. While my brother and sister would always choose the Fruit Loops or Sugar Pops or some other sugary brand I was always the wet blanket who went for the Raisin Bran. I sill love it. But sometimes we got all that other junk like frozen TV dinners and Banquet Chicken, so gross. I’m sure that’s one of the reasons I learned to cook at an early age. Now there’s other junk. I can’t stand to see kids eating those Lunchables for lunch.

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      1. Oh yes, TV dinners. Usually when my mom had a board of directors meeting, dinner had to be quick. It was Banquet dinners or frozen pizzas. Those frozen pizza’s she called “cardboard pizza.” I was thinking of the packaging. I didn’t know she was referring to how it tastes. lol

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  3. Love it Learjet:-) Dotty’s advice is classic and look what a good job she made of Amanda;-)
    The ‘distraction’ was distracting – a very fine photo!

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    1. this comment went into spam folder.. but approved now.. sorry for the delay Michele. have you been trying to comment with a wordpress sign in?

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  4. Brilliantly done Learjet! I look forward to part two! I’ll try and get back here to respond more specifically as soon as I can.. eek. life’s real busy.. I need some advice from my mother.. ahem.. what should I do? I know.. Dotty says I need to do something exciting!!!!!!!

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  5. Nice choices so far, Learjet! The Dotty-isms and some of the boys antics are moments I enjoy a lot. Looking forward to the next batch! I’ve got some tips in mind too, also wondering if those will be there.

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  6. This is great!! Dotty has classic and hilarious advice IMHO. Here’s one for Lee: A kid wants you to listen to them. (ACM Kid)

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  7. For some reason I lost track of the parenting tips when I got to the compensation you mentioned in number 6. Is there a tip about staring at someone too long? If there is I’m just going to ignore it.

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  8. LOL! Love the parenting tips especially Dotty’s because she’s so classically funny and reminds me of my mother. Thanks for making my day Iwsod 🙂

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  9. I love Dotty’s advice the best, especially when you consider everything she’s said all together: Children are like Chihuahuas, and when they grow up, they go off to Honduras to get tattoos. XD

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      2. I also like Dotty’s constant assumptions that Amanda’s odd behavior has something to do with men. It kind of hints at things that Dotty herself might have done when she was younger (possibly in Honduras? 😉 ).

        On the one hand, Dotty seems to encourage Amanda to get involved with men and tries not to pry, but sometimes, she still can’t help but worry about just what kind of men she’s with. If she only knew . . .

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        1. Can you imagine what Dotty would be like if she had met Lee as Mr. Sampson, Amanda’s filmmaker boss? I’m laughing just thinking about it!

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