5/5 The Third “Annual” Golden Teacup Awards TM–Laser Shark Award by CindyDee

 The Laser SharkTM Award


By CindyDee.

I was worried that the inaugural Laser Shark Award would be its last.   Gordon Redding set the bar pretty high and I wasn’t sure any of our Season Three baddies were up to the challenge.


Gordon Redding using the baddie phone and admiring his Laser Shark Award

So, Gordon Redding spends 6 years in prison plotting to avenge his brother’s death. And then he hires Karen to shoot Treloggen, Creadle and Lee Stetson, from a distance. The End. JUST KIDDING!

No, that plan is way too easy and would actually succeed.

A much better way is to pay for Karen’s plastic surgery so she looks like Amanda, have her study Amanda’s habits for months, even down to duplicating those fugly earrings, have her take Amanda’s place and seduce and kill everyone at point blank range.

And when RealAmanda returns early from her camping trip and Karen decides Gordon has to kill her does he:
a. kill her with poison gas or
b. simply knock her out with sleeping gas and hope she gets bitten by a non-poisonous Milk snake? ( I hope he kept his receipt so he could get his money back at the pet store.)

How did he even get a milk snake and knock out gas on such short notice? Nowadays, we could just use Amazon Prime, but back in the 80s? You had to know a guy, who knew a guy…

FUN FACT: Did you know coral snakes fart with a popping sound for defense? Neither did I. See, SMK is educational as well as entertaining! (for more information on snake farts/cloacal popping see http://www.anapsid.org/snakefart.html )

But luckily for all of us, there were enough convoluted episodes in Season Three to give out the award.

Krutiov (current Silver Teaspoon recipient) was in contention, because of all the degrees of freedom involved.
Krutiov manipulated Valentine (by wearing blue suits? I think Krutiov’s master manipulation of Valentine just involved waving a lot of money in front of his face) to manipulate Tony to get to Maria Van Klaussen.  It was pretty far-fetched and you just know Krutiov really enjoyed the challenge of rewriting Tony’s script to get it done (maybe Krutiov is also a frustrated playwright?) But it is not so impressive if you consider that Tony really didn’t love Maria, he loved his play so it wasn’t much of a stretch to get him to betray her and his country. Now if Krutiov was able to manipulate Walter to betray Maria, the woman he loved, then that would have been an impressive feat indeed.  

And, one of the considerations of the Laser Shark Award is there has to be a simpler way to get it done.  If the KGB had grabbed Dr. Van Clausen, having the top Star Wars expert suddenly going missing would have definitely been noticed.  If Krutiov’s plan had worked, then Maria would have spilled the secrets with no-one the wiser.  I am assuming part of the plan was also to kill Tony and make it look like a suicide. (Those press reviews can be so unkind)

 

Serdeych (We’re Off to See the Wizard) was also in contention.

we finally see “Dorothy” and Serdeych
Melissa (I think it was Melissa) wondered if the Russians were going to take top prize, it’s certainly looking that way but the plot is just too complicated and unfocussed for me to really care.  I even watched it again and nope, still don’t care, though I understand if you feel differently. Maybe it was Lee coming quite uncharacteristically undone and blaming Paul for everything bad that ever happened, the fact we didn’t see Serdeych until quite a bit into the episode, or the screaming clues on Serdeyich’s identity that no one picked up on kind of make me feel ‘meh’ about the episode.
Lee: Hi Paul, How’s it going?
Paul: Not good Lee, I’m still trying to find that no-good nasty Serdeych .
Lee: Yes, he sure is heartless. Remember the good old days, in the Oz network and we had Tinman infiltrate the Russians pretending to be on their side? Wow – I wonder who betrayed us to the Russians, it is not like any of us in the Oz network had any way of regularly communicating with them. Paul, why did you give him the code name Tinman, anyway? We all can guess why you tagged me with “Scarecrow”.
Paul: No, actually it was the Russians that gave the Tinman his codename.
Lee: Whoa – that’s pretty wild. I wonder why they named him that. Did Tinman have a heart condition? Because, you know, in the book, the Tinman didn’t have heart.
Paul: Not that I know of. I am still wondering who betrayed us. That was pretty cold and heartless.
Lee: Maybe it was the Cowardly Lion. With a code name like I am not surprised he didn’t last long in the business.

SIGH. Where is the light bulb moment when you need it? And I won’t even go into Lee’s use of phrase “100% correlation”

Yes, I know Tinman was supposedly blown up at the landing strip, but come on! It’s not like you’ve ever heard of people coming back from the dead. For heck’s sake, you’ve even faked your own death.

He does get points for using a doppelganger (which, though not necessary, certainly works in his favour for a Laser Shark Award.)  It just seems too random for the coveted top prize.

Without further ado I present the Laser Shark Award to…..

Gregory (Tale of the Dancing Weasel and Wrong Number)

3.04 TAIL OF THE DANCING WEASEL.avi_001056502
Drinking tea is for wimps. Laser Shark winners eat caviar and drink the finest brandy.
Look at me, stroking my evil beard!

In the five short months since the airing of “Tale of the Dancing Weasel”, Gregory has
a) been in a Soviet prison for six months
b) blackmailed a high ranking Soviet Politburo official to get released
c) shaved his beard
d) moved back to D.C. to be closer to his tailor (no BadlyDressedBadGuy here!)
e) got his realtor’s license
f) ‘convinced’ the people across the street from the Townes to move (Oh my gosh, I hope they are okay!)
g) fed false information to Rhonda (Oh No! I just realized Lee’s family has been compromised. EEK!)
and maybe even…
h) arranged for Abernathy to get food poisoning / “Turkish Flu” so they could grab Francine instead (hey – his plot is so convoluted and far-fetched, why not throw that into the mix.?)

Phew! That man gets things done.  I am happy if I remember to put my laundry in the dryer.
My only regret is I shaved my beard.

The plot gets WAY more complicated than this, but I am willing to entertain the thought that Gregory was putting this in motion for a long time, even before “Tail of the Dancing Weasel”,  he strikes me as a ‘many irons in the fire’ type of guy. 

Now here is where it veers into Laser Shark territory.

I am not sure where or how he found a Towne lookalike but really, what was the point (other than for Laser Shark purposes)? 

From what I can make of this mess, the US government was supposed to believe that Towne was really a KGB agent (who did not create or have access to secret codes or algorithms that the United States used) This supposed KGB agent and respected professor would happily do his mathing bit in the hopes he would develop a theorem, submit it for publication and wait to see if his formulas get classified for being too close to the real thing so he could run those over to the Soviet embassy. Seems like a needle in a haystack to me.

And I don’t really understand the need for the Wally Tuttle persona and putting Towne’s fingerprints and fibers in the condominium and faking his death notice.   Just plant evidence that Towne is KGB and grab him. Or knock him out and slip him some déjà vu drug or whatever Frank Duran used. Easy Peasy and no one is the wiser.

No, I think Gregory loves the thrill of the game so much, he couldn’t resist a plot (the more convoluted the better) to get the best of Billy.   If Gregory were playing chess, not only would he be thinking 5 moves ahead in the current game, he would be plotting his moves 5 games from now. Until we met again, Billy Melrose!

A worthy Laser Shark winner. (except for the fact he tried to have Harry V. Thornton killed, that was not nice.)

A huge thank-you to all of you for tuning in, and of course, my undying gratitude to IWSOD and this wonderful blog.

Please share any thoughts you have about whether Gregory was truly deserving of the Laser Shark Award!

Until we met again, ta ta for now!
CindyDee

41 thoughts on “5/5 The Third “Annual” Golden Teacup Awards TM–Laser Shark Award by CindyDee”

  1. Loved all your posts, Cindy. If I can’t have Zinioev, I will take Gregory. He was sneaky and upfront at the same time. He also had some respect for those he was dealing with at the Agency.

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  2. WordPress keeps kicking me out and I can’t comment, it’s getting really annoying and causing me to miss the fun 🙁 So I will try again!

    Thanks, Cindy, for your hilarious posts. Oh, surprise! Just like the Olympic Ice Skating competitions of the ’80s, the Russians win😉. But, I am excited that Gregory won, he’s my favorite bad guy 👏! Will we see him again in season 4?

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      1. Ahhh, the persnicketiness of WordPress. I went about a month where I could only check the ‘notify me of new comments’ box when I was on my husbands computer, and then I was getting emails about my comments. “Yay, a new comment! Nevermind, it’s just me” and then everything mysteriously healed.

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    2. Hoorah!!!! persistence pays!

      So strange that wordpress would do that. though from Cindy’s reply – at least we know it’s not just you!
      you could try deleting your cookies and internet temporary files and see if that helps.. or, try switching to another browser – that sometimes fixes it. Your comments haven’t been treated as spam at all -I can see those comments and check them before deleting them..

      I agree – love Gregory! Such flair! 🙂 I really hope we see him in season 4. Or at the end I’ll be looking for Gregory fan fiction! [for now, iwsod doesn’t have time for fan fiction – but maybe once the walk is over I’ll spend my smk time exploring them 🙂 ]

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  3. Hi Everyone!
    My internet modem has kicked the bucket 😦
    bad news – I’m going to be mostly offline for the next week.
    good news – it means I’ll be writing upcoming blog posts to get my smk time! [I don’t need to be online for that 🙂 ]

    If mods can please keep an eye on things that would be brilliant.. Thanks!

    I’ll comment as soon as I get back online..

    I’ll also close the latest Tuxedo poll once I’m back online early next week – so don’t forget to vote.
    Thanks everyone and bye for now!!

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  4. If the laser shark award is not for dumbness, I’d like to suggest an additional award..
    The SMK Darwin Award – awarded to the person who dies in the dumbest way possible [and since it’s death, and smk it’s likely this will be a baddie or a person of bad character!]. [I’m guessing you’ve all heard of the Darwin Awards?]

    I think baddies whose dumb antics cause their death have a special smk charm..
    I think Sacker (Utopia Now)should get a Darwin for going to all that trouble to get the president to fly over him with a helicopter, only to blow himself up at the crucial moment with his rocket launcher. Seriously, I really wanted to see his two legs sticking up once the smoke cleared. A fitting and just end for a baddie!

    Runner up for the Darwin award could go to Sallee (Dead men leave not trails) – who decides to run past the exact spot where he has rigged a bomb to go off, right when it is suppose to go off. Oh dear.. So dumb! So just and satisfying 😉

    Hey everyone I’m curious.. I guess I should limit this question to smk baddies given the context.. but if you were to give out smk baddie awards, what would your awards be?
    and care to share who you would award it to?
    Byeeee!

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      1. whoooo Best line of dialogue is a good one! 🙂

        I like most creepy too!

        Yeah baddie creative weapons! Remember Jestress’ fab posts about Amanda’s creative weapons?! 🙂

        How about the ‘worst’ (i.e. best) baddie facial expression?! [you know like blue steele/magnum or whatever is to male models 😉 ]

        I think this guy should win something! [anyone remember the ep?!]

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  5. Love the laser shark award!
    Gordon was just an absolute wimp!
    In Gordon’s defense, maybe he was smart enough to know he he had to hire in talent to get his revenge. and left the details to Karen of how it would be done.
    anyway.. thanks for the reminder of those fugly earrings! I’m doing a happy dance that they are no more in season 3! 🙂

    haaa great Got Milk ad! Even in Australia, I know what those ads are!

    Cindy I notice your laser shark contenders and eventual winner – were all Russians!!!
    Complicated is just part of the Russian Schtik (sp?) isn’t it?

    I’d say the difference with Tony and Popovich is that Popovich was also Russian.. he was a part of that world.. so to get Popovich to do something wasn’t half as challenging (IMHO) as getting Tony to do something. I think WN implies that Popovich grew to love the american culture (gals, hot tubs etc.) while he was playing the alternative identify of Towne. Maybe this was a motivator for him to do this also. who knows..

    Ah! so one criteria for consideration of the Laser Shark award is that there was a simpler way of getting it done. I see!
    But.. when things are simple, they are easily seen through no? Part of making complex plans is that you (in theory) protect yourself from discovery because the plan is hard to discern?

    I agree re Serdeych. He was hardly on screen, and was more of an enigma at times.. but he was a worthy adversary for sure.
    rofl at your conversation between Lee and Paul. So scarecrow-like 😉

    rofl. I love Gregory’s baddie accessories. He’s refined!

    Look at me, stroking my evil beard!

    this had me sniggering away like crazy!

    I think the good thing about having highly complicated plots (if we can follow them) is that it makes the IFF team look super clever to figure them out! And.. it adds to the interest and suspense of it all as the episode plays out. If things were too simple Lee and Amanda wouldn’t need to be too clever and well… IFF wouldn’t be needed 🙂

    I kinda liked this ‘mess’ . Just trying to dirty the reputation of good guy Towne through your standard set up would have been seen right through. but it took a genius like Amanda to pick up this deception- so with the reward of this convoluted plot (I fell for this plot) hook, line and sinker!

    Sorry this means I respectfully disagree with your awarding the Laser Shark to Gregory – but I respect the judge’s decision -Cindy’s 🙂 because it’s Cindy’s prerogative and it’s all great fun 🙂
    Is it rather cheeky of me to say I disagree? Hope not! but I have loved loved loved these awards!!

    I agree, Gregory loves the thrill of the spy game – I was left with the impression that he respected Billy for besting him at the end of WN. I notice he wasn’t captured or anything.. so maybe we’ll see Gregory again in Season 4? I have my fingers crossed for that!!!

    Awh you are very welcome Cindy – so glad you decided to have fun with smk in this way, and share your fab sense of humour with us all!!! We salute you!!! 🙂

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    1. Glad you enjoyed them!
      I am not sure how tall Mel Stewart was, I thought I had read somewhere he was 5’6″, but I couldn’t find that statistic again to confirm.
      I did discover that not only was Mel Stewart an accomplished jazz saxophonist (which we discovered in TBWCBK), he also had a 3rd degree black belt in aikido and had opened a dojo for inner city youth in San Francisco.

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      1. Thanks for looking! Nevermind! Wow.. black belt? what a shame we didn’t get to see Mel Stewart doing his stuff. He would have been able to defeat Dr Pain without the cobra death grip! 🙂

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        1. I bet, he even trained Dr Pain but never told him about the cobra death grip. Just in case… to hold the upper hand, if necessary. 😉

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      1. – it’s great for ratings ;-).

        rofl! I love it! Iwsod prepares to throw a chair at Cindy while the crowd chants ‘Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!’ – kidding!!!!

        Gosh I would have given the LSA to the biggest dumb dumb baddie.. so probably Barry! Give me the money Pop! Ouch. that’s harsh! 😉

        Who would you give the best baddie line of dialogue award to?

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  6. I’m so happy Gregory’s efforts have been formally recognized! After Lee, that tall, tall, tall (like seriously – he makes Lee look short, let alone Billy!) drink of water would be the first choice for this little piglet to snuggle with. I do love a bad boy 😉 and a bad boy with a real job to boot (Gregory’s Realtor motto: I’d kill to get to sell your house!)

    He is indeed a worthy choice, Cindy and I only wish we’d gotten to see more of him – maybe he could have brought a Natasha to his Boris the next time!

    (Best part of this post? Reminding me that I put stuff in the dryer two days ago and forgot about it. Thanks Cindy!)

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      1. Hi All!

        I’ll get back here to respond as soon as I can..

        I just wanted to say – Cindy, Gregory is not going to be happy about this!

        I think everyone should be bracing themselves for the arrival of a Cindy doppelganger any moment to take back the awarding of the laser shark award from Gregory on the grounds he was too cunning and brilliant to be awarded such a prize!

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        2. I just wanted to say – Cindy, Gregory is not going to be happy about this!

          Ahhh, Iwsod, you just beat me to this one – exactly what I thought, too.

          Cindy, as brilliant as your post is, Gregory ISN’T AMUSED about receiving a ‘dumby’ award. He is smarter than that – at least that’s how he sees it. 😉

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          1. Of course he is, his plan to get Towne was in the Krutiov category. Nearly as complicated and dependent on people acting as he predicted. And he did this from prison and without the benefit of Vienna and its training. He has been robbed!

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              1. LOL I guess it’s all about what the laser shark award is being awarded for this time. Okay, so it’s not being awarded for dumbness…
                Being your award show, and your (hilarious) gig – you have handed out your awards based on your whimsy – Gregory won’t be happy with whimsy 😉 tee hee..
                The point is to have fun with smk, and you’ve certainly done that!!!

                It’s not that I don’t think Gregory is smart, it’s just that this particular plan was way more complicated than it needed to be (and vastly more entertaining)

                I think according to SMK, this is partly explained by the fact that he’s Russian… everything in Russia is complicated and they don’t do simple! And.. I like that about them 😉 Agreed – very entertaining trying to get my head around their antics 😉

                I’ll reply to your post now – finally! Hope you are well!

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      1. I noticed at the end of Weasel that Bruce is having to look up to talk to him which I bet doesn’t happen to him often.. Maybe I’m not a piglet. Maybe I’m a koala since James is a tree. Sorry, did I say that out loud?

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  7. Cindy, this really brilliant, I loved it, from reminding us of Gordon’s worthiness to receive this award down to reviewing the contenders. I laughed a lot at the ‘conversation’ between Lee and Paul, I chuckled at krutiov’s ridiculous plan and I cheered when finally Gregory got the ‘shark’. I actually had forgotten how much he achieved in 5 months. Is he of the Gordon standard? I don’t know, perhaps not but the beard stroke is epic.
    I think you remind me of one of reasons why I love SMK so much, it’s crazy villains and wacky plots- they are classic and add so much to the pleasure of rewatching.

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    1. I think you remind me of one of reasons why I love SMK so much, it’s crazy villains and wacky plots- they are classic and add so much to the pleasure of rewatching.

      Just gotta say: LOVE this Michele!!!! 🙂

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So what do you think??? :)

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