5/7 Season Four: Episode Eleven- Santa’s Got a Brand New Bag–Scarecrow & Mrs King

We head back to Titan Toys…
This has been bugging me! I think this use to be the home of Marvellous Marvin’s! LOL you guys probably picked this up earlier in the walk through this ep.. but for me the penny just dropped!

Looks like it’s time for the magical toy tour, a world of pure imagination.. oh wait no that was the chocolate factory. a world of dodgy toy companies!
Guide: Before we begin our tour, I’d like to remind you of tomorrow night’s children’s Christmas pageant. This year, as every year, we’re donating thousands of toys to needy children.

Guide: (continues) It’s Titan’s way of wishing everyone a happy holiday. There’ll be music and a special show…
..Any tax-deductible donations will be appreciated…
[Oh she’s good! I want to donate!!! lol]
…Now we’ll show you how Titan Toys is earning a reputation for having tomorrow’s toys today.
[This has got to be a deliberate choice of words here by the writer’s surely.. and a pretty cool one. Titan Toys is earning  a reputation for having yesterday’s toys.. tomorrow! Just ask Mr Melodious frog – once his batteries are included!]

The tour moves off, and Lee and Amanda linger behind.
Lee: I hope this doesn’t take long. A tour was the only easy way to get in.
Amanda: We’re not gonna find out much following that tour guide.
Lee: Well I can’t do very much without a diversion.
[What luck. Amanda happens to be a walking diversion!]
Amanda: Come on.
{They join the back of the group tour as it leaves the lobby.
Cut to the guide walking briskly through an office area where shelves of toys decorate the walls.}
[I do wonder if this is a department at warner bros and they’ve just stuck that one glass cupboard there randomly. It’s kind of funny how no one is at the desks!]
Guide: Our first stop will be our state of-the-art model-making facility.
{As the group follows, Amanda suddenly stops and grabs her face.}
Amanda: Oh my gosh!
Lee: What?
{They talk over each other.}
Amanda: Oh my goodness, I’ve lost my contact lens. I know I should’ve waited till I got to the ladies room…
Lee: (pretend exasperation): Oh darling.

 focus Iwsod!!
Amanda: (continuing) But it felt like a big rock in my eye.
[Hey when was the last time we saw the rogue contact lense diversion variation?! haaaa]
{They both crouch down as if to look for it and she reaches out to touch the carpet. A guard is watching them.}
Lee: (to Amanda) Oh no, no, no, don’t touch it. The only way we’re going to find it is with a damp cloth. (He looks up at guard) Excuse me?
Amanda: Sir?
{They gesture to the guard.}
Lee: Could you get us a damp cloth please?
Amanda: Yes we certainly would appre – (as guard walks over) Oh wait.
Lee: Watch it.
Amanda: Please, please. Tip-toe, very carefully.
Lee: Thank you
Amanda: Thank you very much. We really do appreciate that. (As guard disappears from view)
[What a lame security guard. I guess the security budget is being diverted to R&D too!
Ha- see the Calendar? December 1996!]
…Let’s go.

{They both straighten up and walk directly to locked door. Amanda keeps a lookout while Lee gets out his lock pick.

He gets it open and Amanda pats him encouragingly as they slip inside.

Cut to Lee and Amanda walking down a white sterile hallway with windows on either side. They continue to walk trying not to look suspicious as Lee carefully pulls back his sleeve to expose his watch.
[Rofl. Love how you said ‘trying’ Clagjanet!! because these two totally look like they shouldn’t be in that corridor and they know it!]

They pause at a window and Lee lifts the watch and obviously takes a picture with it.
[‘obviously’ indeed! Ummm I think he’s not taking a photo he’s preparing to karate chop his own reflection!]
Photo freeze frame of engineers staring at something.
They continue down hall, muttering quietly and pointing out things to take photos of.
Lee snaps another picture of engineers at a work bench covered in equipment.}
Amanda: (whispering) What’s that stuff?
Lee: I don’t know. (snaps another picture)
{We see freeze frame of generic looking equipment and an empty fridge.}
Lee: All this for toys.
Amanda: Yeah.
[hey toys are big business! Train set can cost $200-300! According to Amanda.. ]
{They walk on, turn a corner and come down a hallway in time to join the back of the tour as it passes. [What luck!]
Ingle emerges from a set of cubicles and watches them walk away.}
Ingle updates Falcon. [LOL I keep going to call him Falcone. Now that was an awesome SMK baddie! Falcon is rather dull.. but.. maybe there will be some interesting props to keep us interested!]
Ingle: He showed up just as I set the fire…he pulled the old man out.
Falcon: Seems as though Bernie got himself a detective or something.
Ingle: We can’t come so close and fail now.
Falcon: Nobody’s failing…tell your government to expect delivery as promised… And on time.
[Whoooo so Ingle is working for a foreign government. lol So why doesn’t he know who scarecrow is?! haaaaa everyone else working for a foreign government seems to know.. and.. What is Ingle’s nickname, I don’t think he has one… ummmmm?! Ingle Kringle! Yeah!! I’m gonna go with that!]
Ingle: Not if this detective knows —
Falcon: Knows what? I’ve got a factory full of Phi Beta Kappa engineers doing weapons-grade research and they all think they’re just making sophisticated toys.
[finally Falcon shows some personality. He’s one of those smug baddies! So the geniuses have no idea what they are really working on? haaaa that’s ironic and hilarious!]
Ingle: Perhaps not Bernard Jakes.
Falcon: I could have picked anything… but I had to take his ridiculous toy tank off the shelf to front for real tank R&D.
[Muahahahaahaaaaa sooo the baddies’ plans are revealed!!! Muahahahahahaah!!!!]
Ingle: I suggested we kill him when he first became a problem.
Falcon: Well then…it didn’t seem necessary, now it does.
[oh yawn. really, you should be more interesting when you are giving the go ahead to kill someone!]

On to the Galilee General Hospital.
[Uh oh. this is where the baddie got to Amanda not a very secure hospital this one!]

Lee: (looking in from doorway) Bernie?
Bernie: (looks up) Oh hiya Lee. Thanks for coming.
{Lee walks in and hands him a gift.}
Lee: This is for you.
Bernie: Oh, thanks a lot.
{He opens box immediately to reveal a wool scarf.}
Bernie: Oh boy.
Lee: Well, you know, I figure everyone can use a scarf, right?
Bernie: (putting on scarf) yeah. I sure got a lot of use out of the one that you gave me last year…and the year before that one too.
[Bernie is too cute here. I think he is sincere but accidentally manages to draw Lee’s attention to his ummm… lack of variety in gifts! haaaaa..
and how is this any different to Amanda buying socks! tee hee..
I didn’t think they knew each other well enough to exchange gifts each year.. but .. whatever]
Lee: (slightly embarrassed at being caught out) Heh, heh. Uhh, do you remember much of what happened, Bernie?
Bernie: (rubs eyes) Uh, let’s see. All I remember is that this big flash of light hits me square in the eyes and I tumbled off the ladder. And then it was lights out.
{Lee nods, then hands him a stack of the photos he took at Titan Toys.}
Lee: Take a look at these. Familiar?
Bernie: (puts his glasses back on) Oh yeah, well…I never had my hands on one of these, but it looks like a Norton and McCormick bench tester…They use this mainly for laser optics. Why?
Lee: I took those shots at the Titan Toys security area.
Bernie: What the hell are they doing with one of those?
Lee: That’s my question exactly. It’s strictly used for defense application.
Bernie: (still looking through photos) Yeah.
{The door opens and some nurses wheel in a cart of presents.}
Nurse: Mr Jakes.
{Behind them, Falcon, dressed as a doctor, appears carrying a wrapped box.}
Falcon: Nurse. For Mr. Jakes.
[whoooo Mr Boring Falcon isn’t afraid to get his hands.. errr kinda dirty!]
Lee: look at this.
{Bernie looks up from the photos, excited to see a nurse bearing gifts.}
Nurse: Merry Christmas Mr. Jakes
Bernie: Oh terrific. Oh thanks. Thanks a lot everybody!
{Bernie picks up the top package, the one from Falcon and rips into it.}
Lee: Uh Bernie, don’t you wanna wait til Christmas?
Bernie: Aw Lee, you know I can’t wait to open up a present. Anyway there might be something to eat in here. The food here is terrible.
{Cut to package as Bernie pulls back batting to reveal a cheap clock and two sticks of dynamite. The timer is at 13 seconds.}Bernie: Oooohhhh!
[Bernie has the best panic face ever!! Hope he’s already on a bed pan haaaaaaa
I’ve always cracked up laughing once he makes that face and can’t stop!]
{Lee grabs the package and tosses it into the connecting bathroom, slamming the door.}
Lee: get down!
{Bernie pulls pillow over his head as Lee slides to the floor beside the bed, looking for cover.
[Oh my gosh. this just looks flippin hilarious!!!]
The bomb goes off and fills the room with smoke}

Oh no. Will Lee and Bernie survive or burn-ie up-ie big time?!
Well… I guess when this first aired – everyone had to anxiously wait to see if Lee and Bernie survived for a whole commercial break!
You were all certain it was bye bye Lee for the Christmas episode right?! Bah Humbug indeed haaaaaa..

So, with the magic of dvds. we literally have to wait two seconds before we are updated on their life status..
Back at Titan toys..
Falcon: (off camera) All right, they survived the blast.
[Phew, way to keep up the suspense there writers! haaaa]
{Cut to Falcon’s office. Falcon is lost in thought, looking out his office window.}
Ingle: Any information on the man with Jakes?
Falcon: I can’t find out who he is, but I won’t need another shot at him till we make the delivery. The engineers will work all night if they have to.
Ingle: It’s Christmas Eve.
[rofl. why would Ingle care about that?! Ingle Kringle I guess is fitting!]
Falcon: So what if it’s Christmas Eve? You’re paying me twenty million for R&D on a main battle tank. You think I’m gonna blow all that business because it’s Christmas Eve?
[Me thinks the employees are not going to be happy Ebenezer Scrooge!]

{Cut to Billy’s Office. Billy is rummaging through a sea of Christmas gifts on his desk. Lee is straightening stuff behind him.}
[I guess this is to show Billy is well regarded and gets lots of presents? Love to see the hat on the hat stand!]
Billy: You know, you’re damn lucky you’re not sharing Bernie’s hospital room.
[What I really want to know is – did the scarf survive?! Then again,  I guess Bernie already has two and can count on Lee to give him another next year haaaaa]

Lee: I don’t think either of us would have liked that. I put a twenty-four hour guard on him. Well, at least it shows he wasn’t just playing the disgruntled employee game. Obviously he’s got somebody worried.
Billy: This year, for a change, I thought I’d keep you out of the field, but you’ve got my okay to go ahead and black bag the factory.
Lee: Good
[Is it just me or is BB’s grey streak really prominent here?]
Billy: What’s with the pictures?
Lee: Well, they confirm what we saw. Their R&D labs are definitely stocked with high tech equipment.
Billy: (re: prints) Wind tunnels and laser trajectories? What could these things have to do with rubber dolls and trucks?
{{Clagjanet:Rubber dolls? What kind of “toys” are these?}}
[rofl. I don’t want to know Clagjanet!!]
Lee: I don’t know, it’s hard to say. But if they were gearing up for a line of toy weapons… they’d have put R&D into Bernie’s tank model… But, you know what he found? It’s still made of balsa wood.
Billy: Get going on it. Amanda will give you a hand.
Lee: Right
Billy: (shaking head) Christmas Eve…
[LOL What about the Long Christmas Eve? this gig is way better- it’s all good Billy!]
Lee: What?
Billy: I’m sorry.
Lee: Oh. Yeah. (nods) We’ll start with the little watering hole near Falcon’s plant. If his engineers have had some holiday cheer, they might be a little loose-lipped about security.
{Lee leaves.}

{Cut to a bar scene. Francine is holding court with some engineers, half in their cups, standing at the bar.
Lee and Amanda are watching from the other end of the bar. The one sitting closest to Francine buys the latest round.}
Francine: Wait a minute, I thought that you guys said you have to be back to work tonight.

{The group laughs as Francine makes a flirty gesture with one of them,
[oh he is cute!!]
…then gives Lee a wave. Lee chuckles while Amanda does not look like she’s enjoying this.}
{{Clagjanet: Amanda’s blue winter coat is not as attractive as Lee’s – in fact she looks like Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch.}}
[Do I want to know what is a huggy bear from S&H?! haaa]
Lee: (admiring) Just give her an empty bar stool and she can bag a Bulgarian double agent in about thirty-five minutes. Three wise men down here don’t know what’s about to hit them.
{We hear Francine off-camera.}
Francine: …a little time to tell you about our profit participation program…
Lee: You know what? This is turning out to be a great Christmas Eve, hmm?
{Amanda’s head swivels to meet his eyes in complete disbelief.}
Amanda: (quietly outraged) We are working. We are sitting in a bar. Working. We’re not singing Christmas carols,
we’re not opening presents, we’re not going to church. We are sitting in a bar, working on Christmas Eve.
{Throughout this lecture, Lee is looking more guilty and nervous as he realizes that she is Not Happy.}
Lee: And I know that, I know that…
…If I had a family, I think I might like to do those things, but…
{He peters out as he takes in the “you have got to be kidding” expression on Amanda’s face, and looks back at what Francine is up to.
[wha?? Lee aren’t you and Amanda ummmm engaged? secretly engaged and openly dating apparently, and you’ve been invited to join her family for Christmas. so what are you on about?! Oh Lee!!
What do you think is going on here?
I figure he hasn’t adjusted to this new reality – and it’s all new and kinda scary for him.. ]

Cut to Francine and Engineers toasting at the other end of the bar.}
Francine: Well, all the folks at our shop are home counting their Christmas bonuses (chuckles seductively)
Engineer #1: Well, I’m sure you could tell us a hundred reasons why we should be working for your company, but there is no way that you can beat the money that Titan pays.
Francine: Okay, okay, maybe we can’t beat the money but in terms of creative freedom, we are hard to beat. We have a research budget that’s wide open. And next year, we’re getting into lasers.
{Engineer #1 exchanges an amused look with his friends.}Engineer #1: Lady, we’re already into lasers.
{Cut to Lee and Amanda. Lee looks pleased like all his Christmases just arrived. Amanda is nodding as if she knew that was coming.}
Engineer #1: (continued) The damn thing makes Stanford research look like a flashlight.
Francine: Oh, you’re into lasers huh? What about, uhhh, fibre optics?
Engineer #1: (amused) : We’ve got everything but a launching pad.
{Lee straightens up.}
Lee: Well, Francine isn’t going to get any more prime into the pump. [Eeewwwww!!!!]
{He and Amanda stand up, pulling out their badges.}
Engineer #1: (off screen) I’m sure we could always use someone like you…
Lee: (walking up behind them) Just keep talking, smart guy. You’re into about ten grand in fines already.
{Amanda flashes her badge.}
Amanda: Amanda Keen, Lee Steadman, Titan Security. Can we see some identification please?
Francine: (hopping off her stool) Happy holidays, boys. (Francine goes for the exit.)
{The engineers are handing Lee their IDs.}
Lee: Where were you when we had our industrial espionage talks, hmm?
Engineer #1: Calm down…we were just having a little Christmas cheer.
Lee: Well, maybe at MIT or Stanford or wherever you college boys are from, they don’t teach loyalty and esprit de corps…I’ll just bet you can understand a nice stiff fine though?
Engineer #1: What did we say that was so terrible? I didn’t go into any specifics.
Amanda: Well, you’ll have to go into quite a few specifics with us.
Lee: Mmm-hmm. Shall we start with clearance areas, gentlemen?
{Engineers exchange sad looks.
Time cut to Lee letting the three engineers out the door, then, he joins Amanda at the bar.}
[Ummmm so we busted you telling a plant stuff you shouldn’t, so now we are going to get you tell us even more? Not following. but hey, I don’t really care – just happy to see Lee and Amanda playing their covers!]
Amanda: They sure were pushing hard on a project that’s been shelved.
Lee: Yeah. On Christmas Eve to boot. Why the emergency, huh? I’d sure love to crack this for Bernie.
{Amanda nods. }
[Is Amanda wearing her engagement ring on her right hand?]
Amanda: Well, look, let’s get to the plant and find out what we can and maybe we’ll still have time for a little Christmas Eve dinner.
[I figure Lee gave Amanda an opening here to pack up and go home.. and she chose to stay on the job a little longer. what do you think?]
Lee: Yeah, let’s go.
Amanda: Yeah.
{They leave the bar.}
[LOL that is one fake exterior they walk out into!]

I better pause here… anything you’d like to share?
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/ Happy New Year all!!!