Welcome back to SMK Parenting Tips. We’ve heard from Dotty and others, but this post will be devoted entirely to tips from Amanda.
1. Be Supermom:
Den Mother to the scouts (the First Time),
help out with the Junior Trailblazers (Odds on a Dead Pigeon),
raise funds for the Bombers (The Mole), a member of the PTA and spy-in-training.
2. Make them clean up their mess
(Volcano – Vigilante Mothers)
3. Mothers bake a lot of cakes and biscuits
for bake sales (The Mole), Mother of the Year contests (A Little Sex, a Little Scandal), breakfast for secret baddies (Lost and Found) and just because (A Relative Situation).
4. Compliment your children when you think they’ve done well.
Amanda (about Lee to the Colonel): You know, I think he would very much like to hear you say that.(A Relative Situation) .
Amanda to Jamie: Those g’s are really good. Jamie: They’re supposed to be p’s (A Lovely Little Affair)
5. When your kids have a sleepover, be there but pretend you’re not (Lost and Found)
6. The worst time to move house is the middle of the school year (Double Agent)
7. Wear whatever your children give you (even a Hot Mama t-shirt – Brunette’s Are In)
8. Tell your kids that everyone loses a game sometimes (after their lost Little League game – Service Above and Beyond )
9. Bring Royalty to see the neighbourhood children’s play (Always Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth)
10. Support your child through his first love (Linda Montez):
Amanda: …and don’t eavesdrop on your brother.(A Lovely Little Affair)
11. Being a mother is about thinking on your feet
The Colonel: You know, they ought to have a manual that gives you all the rules, instead of you making them up as you go along. Amanda: Awh that would be much too easy and not nearly as much fun! (A Relative Situation)
Amanda: Ah well, you know there are no rules for mothers, Mrs Woodrow. We just sort of make them up as we go along; we have to think on our feet (A Little Sex, A Little Scandal)
12. When telling your son not to hit his brother, be specific about what implements he shouldn’t use.
“Phillip, do not hit your brother in the head with trash” [sharp objects may be okay]
13. When telling your son not to call his brother names, be specific about what names he shouldn’t be called…
“Phillip, do not call your brother Bozo.” [‘Dirt bag’ or ‘Worm Breath’ may be okay ]
14. When you make the boys a promise – make sure you keep it! [e.g. don’t miss out on taking them to goofy golf because you ate Lee’s “chicken on white extra mayo”]
15. Do not enter a time warp when your son is playing Rip Van Winkle the next night in a play! (Reach for the Sky)
16. Help them if with their projects, even if it means being mistakenly considered a double agent, helping out Czechoslavakia or building transmitters (Spiderweb)
17. Allow them to explore their creativity to recreate history (including the Battle of Khartoum) (A Little Sex, a Little Scandal)
and build messy school projects (eg the exploding volcano (Vigilante Mothers).
So there we have it: SMK’s guide to Parenting. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed by SMK are not endorsed by Learjet!! So what do you think? Do you agree with Amanda’s style of parenting? If you have kids, do they build volcanoes? Now is the time to critique 80s parenting….