Tag Archives: recap

(Back to the Agency. In Billy’s office, where Billy is apparently wearing his cranky pants.)
Billy: (angry – they are obviously in mid-fight) It obviously began in the Christmas tree. It happens every year.
Lee: (pacing) Bernie almost bought it with smoke inhalation. Now he’s not laid up in the hospital because he’s careless.
Billy: Look Lee, Christmas lights are fragile at best.
Lee: Yes
Billy: The insulation breaks down easily. One of the lights goes off. The fumes overcome Bernie. He falls off the ladder and he bangs his head.
[and Bernie burny! Rofl. the way Billy describes it, Christmas is a very dangerous season ahem. No wonder Lee doesn’t like it much! ]
Lee: What about the flash, huh? He said he saw a bright flash just before he hit his head.
Billy: One of the bulbs went off! …
[Is it just me or is this hard to buy? Not sure if it’s in the performance here, or if this whole Lee and Billy are fighting but not really shtick has been warn out a bit. Thoughts?]
…(beat) Look, I know Jakes is your friend. But whatever it is the police can handle it.
Lee: I see what’s going on here. You think I’m trying to invent work so that I’ll duck out on the holidays, right?
Billy: You do it every year.
Lee: What do you want me to do, huh? …You want me to, uh, write a letter to Santa Claus? Paint little reindeer on my windows? I have a friend who’s in trouble out there, Billy and if you’re not going to back me up through this Agency…I’ll handle it myself.
Billy: I know you will…but all work and no play
Lee: Makes Lee a dull boy. Are you suggesting I don’t know how to enjoy myself? [lol I thought Billy believed Lee knew how to enjoy himself too well! I don’t really get Billy’s anger at Lee not being in the Christmas Spirit. So what, let him.]
Billy: Only at this time of the year!
Lee: (with a sarcastic look) Bah humbug.
[Okay this is funny! I love this line of Lee’s!!!]
(Lee storms out while Billy frowns)
[Lee is all thinly veiled rage!!! gah!!!!
{Cut to exterior aerial shot of a busy shopping area.
We cut to an exterior shot of store as Lee and Amanda emerge. Lee is carrying two large full bags, Amanda only has one light one.}
{Clagjanet: Lee looks sooooo scrumptious in a long blue winter coat}
Lee: What’s wrong with this store?
Amanda: Nothing.
Lee: You didn’t buy anything. I’m done.
Amanda: Well I know. That’s because I wanna get something special for special people.
[Lee Lee Amanda is trying to teach you something. and.. he’s oblivious!!!]
Lee: I know, I found it. Scarves for everyone. Everybody likes a scarf, everyone needs one. One size fits all.
Amanda: (mocking) And they’re already wrapped.
Lee: (oblivious to her teasing) Hmm, you can’t beat it, can you?
Amanda: Mmmhmm.
[While I think these two are adorable, I kinda think Amanda should lay off with teaching Lee the meaning of Christmas cough cough. I mean – his love language isn’t gift giving you know? It’s totally acts of service and physical touch!!!!
What do you think? I guess Amanda’s is the gifts one so maybe she’s trying to give Lee a heads up for how she likes to show her love. Aie. Maybe someone who actually knows about this stuff can you fill us all in?!]
Lee: You know the Agency is easy but to tell you the truth, I don’t know what to get Phillip or Jamie. [not scarves Lee?!]
Amanda: Aww, they aren’t expecting anything…
[Amanda! You were just telling Lee about the value of buying presents for special people!]

Lee: Well, that’s not the point… I don’t wanna go over there empty-handed. I’ve got an obligation.
Amanda: Well you shouldn’t think of it as an obligation.
Lee: Responsibility, duty…whatever you want to call it. Look, my uncle used to take me to the department store, he’d give me an option. I’d pick out what I wanted and he’d buy it for me. (beat)
…Joe’s going to be there, right?
Amanda: Right.
Lee: He’s gonna bring them stuff, right?
Amanda: Yeah.
Lee: I just don’t wanna look bad.
{{Clagjanet: Just wear that coat, Lee. Even preteen boys won’t think you look bad in that coat}}
[Yeah! they will want to BE Lee!!]
Amanda: You’re not gonna look bad.
[Actually, I kinda agree with Lee – take a little gift for the boys. great idea!]
{They walk up to a store marked “Justin’s Toys” }
[Anyone else itching to know who is Justin? The director’s kid maybe?!]
Lee: (pointing in the store window) How about that?
{Cut to a display of toys including footballs, with a toy train running in a circuit around them.}

[whooo Walter the freaky singing frog! Just what all children are missing from their lives!]
Amanda: (off camera) Sure, the boys could use a new football.
Lee: (O.C.) No, no, not the football. The trains.
Amanda: Sweetheart.
Lee: What?
Amanda: That train must cost two or three hundred dollars…we don’t buy the boys gifts that expensive! {{Clagjanet: The prop department screwed the pooch here – that was a $10 train set at most}}
[whoa that’s hilarious!]
Lee: All right, it was just an idea. I mean, both your boys are getting much too old for this kind of stupid junk.
{They walk into the toy store and up to a display of the singing frogs Bernie showed Lee.}
Amanda: What do you mean? Like Mr. Melodious Frog? They had one of these years ago. Joe brought it home from Japan.
[Joe was in Japan?]
Lee: Years ago…
Amanda: Mmm hmmm
Lee: That’s Walter the Singing Frog, Amanda.
Amanda: No, this is Mr. Melodious Frog. I mean, I guess it’s just an updated version or something. You push his beanie and he plays everything from Beethoven to the Beatles.

{She presses the beanie but nothing happens}
…Batteries not included.
[Love Amanda’s deadpan delivery here!]
Lee: Why would Titan Toys have a lab full of MIT graduates if they’re just importing toys from Japan?
[I guess Lee filled her in about Titan toys and Bernie..]
Amanda: I don’t know.
Lee: (look of sudden realization) Amanda wait a second…(getting excited) Wait a second…
Amanda: what?
Lee: (hands her his bags) Here
Amanda: Nooooooo!
Lee: I gotta make a phone call. Take these back to the Agency for me please?
Amanda: Oh please, no.
Lee: (over Amanda’s sounds of distressed protest) One more hour. One more hour and then we’ll pick up shopping where we left off. Please… (He kisses her)
…I love you.
Amanda: (very frustrated): Ooooh.
[Oh well. at least we got a kiss, and an I love you and that overcoat. Dreamy!]
{She turns to watch him go and sighs.] 
{Cut to aerial hot (different) of a shopping area. We can hear a brass instrument playing “Good King Wenceslas”

Cut to a small bandstand where T.P Aquinas is playing the tuba while a woman is playing the triangle. They are in Salvation Army uniforms. Pedestrians pass, dropping money in the kettle, Christmas greetings are exchanged.
Lee approaches}
{{Clagjanet: Yay! Still in that coat and walking like a man who knows he looks goooooood}}.
[Oh my. Lee is a sight to behold. Very Merry Christmas ]
Lee: Sounds good, T.P.
[TP? TP is there? sorry I didn’t notice.. all I saw was.. dimples and an overcoat Hallelujah!]
T.P.: (laughs) Hi Lee!
Lee: When’s intermission.
T.P.: Right now. (to woman) Let’s take five and then we’ll swing into the Bach.
{Lee walks forward as T.P. goes to stand up, still holding the tuba.}
Lee: Whoa, whoa, whoa [rofl it sounds like he says ho ho ho!] hold on. Let me help you with that. T.P.: Oh, I don’t mind if you do.
Lee: All right
T.P.: Thank you.
Lee: (puts down tuba carefully but with a groan): There you go
T.P.: Fine
{{Clagjanet:TP is wiping his mouth with a hankie – either he’s a very good actor or he was really playing that tuba and needs to wipe off the spit!}}
Lee: (sits down beside him) So, pick anything up about Titan Toys?
T.P.: Short notice, but I collected a little IOU at the SEC. A lot of highly kinetic wheeling and dealing going on.
Lee: It’s a big business…eleven million bucks plus in eighty-five.
[these numbers sound tiny these days!]
T.P.: A moderately successful old-line toy manufacturer. But, about a year ago a fellow named Maxwell Falcon began to buy it out. Since then, he’s been selling off its assets.
Lee: He’s still making toys…that strange thing that sticks to the ceiling…toy guns.
T.P.: yeah, but under license arrangements. Barely making a profit. He doesn’t own those things anymore.
Lee: He lured away about twenty new PhD’s from some very lucrative defense jobs. Top drawer prospects too.
T.P.: Mmm-hmm
Lee: That took some quick capital!
T.P.: Uh, indeed…and if he doesn’t get a payoff for all these R & D bucks pretty soon…it’s tap city. (to pedestrian) Oh thank you, sir.
Man: (off camera) Surely
Lee: And thank you T.P.
{He stands and as he starts to leave…}
T.P.: Oh Scarecrow?
Lee: yeah?
T.P.: Haven’t you forgotten something?
{T.P. shifts his gaze to the donation bucket.}
Lee: Hmm? Oh yeah.
{Lee digs in his pocket, holds up a $20 bill

and adds to the pot and walks away with a wave.}
{{Clagjanet: Female editor/cinematographer for sure because the shot stays on Lee and The Coat walking away for longer than usual}}
[I’m pretty sure there was some useful information in there somewhere, but again – All I see is dimples and a dreamy overcoat!.. hmm I think I need to just replay this part again with my eyes closed…]
Everyone with me??   or has everyone drifted off to their happy place? Merry Christmas all. 

{Cut to King House exterior – Night –
We can see that the exterior of the house has been decorated with lights and a wreath and there is station wagon parked outside as well as Amanda’s Jeep. We can hear electronic Christmas music playing.

Cut to the family room, also decorated for Christmas. Joe is playing with a portable keyboard synthesizer set up on the coffee table.} [Hey does this mean that station wagon out the front is what Joe drives? why does that make me chuckle?!
Umm this playing kinda goes on a bit long.. I think it was in Sam Melville’s contract that he gets to play a Christmas tune with one finger for a minute! maybe it’s just me!]
{Amanda enters, dropping her coat on the back of the couch.}
Amanda: Oh, that’s fantastic.
Joe: (chuckling) One finger. It’s incredible, isn’t it? |[Oh. It is.] … Hope you like it.
Amanda: Thank you Sweetheart.
[Hang on a minute. I just want to go back and watch Amanda give Dr Smyth a kiss on the cheek. That was way more enjoyable to watch and listen to that this!!!! GAH!!!!!! He doesn’t get to be called Sweetheart anymore! lol. I mean sure it’s great they still get along. And I remember there are some fans of smk who don’t mind this one bit. It’s healthy and friendly and all that – but they’re no longer married!!!! this sends me right back to that kiss on the lips goodbye on her doorstep that Lee got all jealous about! What episode was that? Oh yeah. Stemwinder II. Where we got that wonderful line from Amanda: I love him, I’m always gonna love him. But I’m in love with you. [See HERE]
I think what cut Lee back then was how Lee and to sneak into the backyard to smooch Amanda, while Joe got to do it on the front porch.
Hmmm.. I wonder if they allude to this on purpose. Because Lee at this point is no longer sneaking into the backyard!!!!!! but.. he’s trying to sneak out of anything Christmasy sooooo what’s gonna happen for Lee and Amanda this Christmas? We’ll see!
But.. put me down for the – maintain boundaries with your ex- you are no longer together club!
I did create a meme about this which was quite cathartic for me. lol. II’ll share it in the christmas day memes post – but evidently I still carry some bitterness haaaa!]
Anyway, back to this ep!
Joe: I set it up early for the boys. Phillip’s already mastered the Marine Corps Hymn.
[Why does Joe have a wedding ring on? did he remarry?! if so.. hoorah.]
Amanda: It’s great to have you here for Christmas.
Joe: It’s good to be here.
[They move into a closer embrace. Oh please no. Gah! no kissing!
lol Dotty saves the day!]
{Dotty emerges from the kitchen, groaning in frustration.}
Amanda: What’s the matter Mother?
{Joe and Amanda exchange grins like they’ve seen this before.}
Dotty: (ranting) Would someone go upstairs and tell my sister that you do not cook a goose in tin foil.

Amanda: Mother, are you two already at each other’s throats? She hasn’t even been here a whole day.
Joe: Why don’t we just relax play some Christmas carols and work on that big bowl of nog in the refrigerator.
[Oi. I wanted someone to tell Joe to stay out of it.]
Dotty: Lillian wanted to get into that before lunch.
Amanda: (laughs, quietly to Joe) it’s really beginning to sound a lot like Christmas.
{Joe nods, laughing along with her.}
Dotty: Why does she come here and think that she can (raises voice to a shout, aimed up the stairs) take over my kitchen!
Amanda: Mother… I’ll talk to her, okay?
[Interesting family dynamic going on here. Why is Amanda the one who has to step in a resolve things between Dotty and her sister. Amanda’s always the peacemaker. Meanwhile she’s all touchy with her ex. Ugh. tee hee..]
Dotty calms: I hope so..{Jamie and Phillip burst in the room. Jamie is wearing tinsel on his head like a punk rocker. Phillip is chasing him with a can of spray snow.}
Amanda: Hey, hey, hey! What’s going on here? Fellas, no running in the house. Fellas, stop!
{The boys come to a dead stop in front of the adults.}
Amanda: Now what’s going on?
Jamie: Uh, well, Phillip was trying to put that white junk in my hair.
Amanda: Why in the world would he wanna put that white stuff in your hair when you’ve already got that silver stuff in your hair?
Phillip: Oh and Aunt Lillian’s up in our room crying.
Amanda: Mother, (we see Dotty is unrepentant)
….what did you say to Aunt Lillian?
Dotty: Nothing. Nothing. We were just discussing the menu for tomorrow night.
{Amanda sighs and gives her mother a look while Joe laughs. Dotty pauses and glances up at the ceiling.}
Dotty: Well… there might have been a certain amount of bodily contact.
{Joe can’t contain his amusement while Amanda looks horrified.}
[I confess I’m happy to see this! haaa but then I’m petty! haaaaa!]
Joe: Boys, come on over here…
[Go Dotty and Lillian. Sounds like they made a goose of themselves over the goose.
Right about now, I’m starting to wonder if Lee has the right idea about families and Christmas. Haaaaaa.. Just kidding. But.. this does make me wonder if this is why Amanda is an only child!]

The boys head over to their dad while Amanda sorts out Dotty and Lillian and the scene ends there.

{Cut to Agency at night. Lee’s car is parked outside. There is a single light on upstairs.
Off camera, we hear Leatherneck.}
Leatherneck: okay, here’s Walt’s guts.
{We cut to the Q Bureau where Lee and Leatherneck have a pile of toys on Lee’s desk and Leatherneck is doing something with a screw driver.}
Leatherneck: The hottest chip in this frog is the NAC735. It’s your basic ten-year-old Op Amp Oscillator.
Lee: What else you got?
{Lee tosses the Harry the thing up in the air but it doesn’t come back down. Lee and Leatherneck stare up at it.}

Leatherneck: very low tech.
Lee: Yeah
Leatherneck: Yeah, what I got is the last of the Titan Christmas line.
{He picks up a silver cap gun and puts it in front of Lee on the desk.}
Leatherneck: Here’s a Tombstone fanner.
{Lee makes a happy noise as he picks up the gun.}
Leatherneck: And a Spud .45. I don’t know – the most sophisticated thing in either one of them is a spring.
{Lee is grinning at the cap gun.}
Lee: I had this exact same pistol when I was a kid…

[Lee is so adorable – Mr Bunny Teeth!]
 (He aims it and fires off a few caps)
…Nothing like the smell of caps in the morning.
Leatherneck: Yeah right. Well, look, boss, they’re probably taking down the banquet tables right now so I gotta get down there and help ‘em out.
(Leatherneck makes for the door)
Lee: Okay thanks, Leatherneck… You know, the IRS audited Titan Toys a couple of months ago…

…Now, according to Falcon’s budget he uses most of his money for research and development. Very high tech research and development. But, where’s it going?
Leatherneck: Beats me. I’ll see ya. (Leatherneck leaves)
[Leatherneck said he had to go, then Lee shares a random bit of info about the case like Leatherneck would have any idea? Why did Lee do that???  Beats me! haaaaaa. Pretty clunky. but Lee and the toy gun is so adorable I don’t mind a bit of clunky exposition. Okay okay. lots of money being spent on R& D and zero to show for it. Whatever could it mean?!
Lol Leatherneck is mostly out the door when we hear this voice over from Lee..]
Lee: I’ll take the toys back to Bernie.
[Lee! Leatherneck doesn’t care he’s outta there! lol.
Looks like they added it post production- weird.]
{Lee spins the pistol on his finger gunslinger style,
then squints
and fires off a cap in the direction of the ceiling. Harry the Thing falls back down on the desk.

Lee looks pleased with himself.}
[Oh my gosh! how cute is that.. Lee is letting his playful side come out while he’s all alone with the toy gun! haaaa wasn’t big on toys. Yeah Right.
How did he get the thing down?! did the gun actually shoot something? what do I care – this ending to the scene is adorable!]

{Cut to Bernie’s living room. Bernie is up on a small ladder decorating his tree. A man crosses in front of the camera and pauses in the shadows.
Bernie turns, looking like he heard something.}
Bernie: Is anybody there?
{We see that it is Ingle, who pulls some sort of gadget from his pocket and aims it at Bernie. It gives off a burst of red light and a loud beep.
Bernie shuts his eyes. As he is blinded, Ingle runs forward and kicks the ladder, sending Bernie tumbling. [What a Creep!!!] Ingle then picks the phone and dials.}
Operator: (we hear her over the phone) 911 what’s your emergency?
Ingle: (whispering) Help. (He puts down the phone.) Operator: Hello? Hello? Thirteen-sixty-one, what is your emergency? We have your address, tell us the type of emergency. Can you hear me? 1361, what is your emergency?

(Ingle cuts the Christmas tree wires and crosses the wires short circuiting them. He then sets a present under the tree alight with a lighter.)
[I guess he is trying to make it look like the Christmas lights were the source of the fire starting.)

{Cut to exterior. Ingle is walking out of Bernie’s house and getting in his car. As he does so, we see Lee’s car pull onto the street, then park in front of the house. As Ingle watches, Lee gets out of his car and realizes the place is on fire. Lee jumps out of the car and races up to the house. He stops to look in window, then tries the front door.}
Lee: Bernie? Bernie are you all right? Open the door!
{He attempts door again, then runs around side of house to the back, while Ingle watches.
Cut to interior of Bernie’s house. Smoke fills the room. Lee runs in from back.}
Lee: Bernie.
[I can’t watch this little action scene without laughing out loud! Maybe it’s not intentional?? but Lee calling out ‘Bernie!’ to someone who is in a house fire is flippin hilarious!!!!!!!!!!
Quick Lee! Bernie Burnie!]
{Lee walks over to burning Christmas presents then leans over Bernie who is out cold on the floor.} [and in danger of burnie!] 
Lee: Bernie? (tries to shake him awake) Bernie!
{Lee moves to pick up Bernie. [before he can burnie!] Cut to exterior shot as Lee carries a coughing Bernie out over his shoulder and lays him on the lawn.
[Nice fireman’s carry Lee – very appropriate!]
Ingle is still watching.
We hear sirens.
Lee runs back inside as Ingle drives off.}

[Lots of emphasis on the fact that Ingle is taking it all in. And you know what? I have nooooo idea why and what happens next! lol.] Thoughts everyone? 

Next post is the Christmas/Holiday memes post to be published Christmas day!

I’m a bit pressed for time so am relying lots of Clagjanet’s amazing descriptions. Clagjanet you are lifesaver!
Time to see how Operation ‘fill Lee with Christmas spirit’ is going!

{Cut to Q Bureau. Lee is at his desk, feet up, studying files.
Amanda’s side of the room is elaborately decorated for the season. Decorated tree beside her desk and a wreath on the wall, plus garlands on her desk and cards on a string behind her chair. Lee’s desk has nothing.}

[I love how Amanda’s side only has the decorations, like Lee refused to let them spread to his side of the room or something haaaaa]

Amanda: Hi!
Lee: Hi! {He straightens up, looking guilty}
Amanda: They’re all waiting for you downstairs
Lee: Oh the party’s started already, huh?
Amanda: Yeah
{she bends and places a gift under the tree}
Lee: I just got all wrapped up in this report and forgot about it. [wrapped up? hey! that’s a great pun Lee!]
Amanda: (with fake heartiness) Well! Would you look at that? I think Santa Claus has been here.
Lee: (looking annoyed) Oh no…
…Is Billy handing out those damn cakes again? Amanda: Come on. Jeanie makes these cakes every year just to spread a little Christmas cheer and I don’t know why you’re so hard to get in the mood.
Lee: I am not hard to get in the mood!
[I don’t the mood Lee is thinking of is the mood Amanda is thinking of.]
Amanda: You are impossible to get in the mood!
{she crosses to stand beside his desk, glaring at him.}
Lee: Amanda…
Amanda: We ought to grab an eggnog downstairs and then I can take you to the nearest shopping mall and I’ll help you do your shopping.
Lee: Aieee
{The phone rings and Amanda slams her hand down on the receiver to keep him from answering it. }
Amanda: Ohhhh!
{She sighs as Lee looks at her with an oh-come-on expression, lifts the receiver
and passes it to him with a look of amused exasperation before walking back to her desk.}
Lee: Yeah Stetson.
{Cut to Bernie, sitting in front of a table of jumbled wires and boxes. There is a bare Christmas tree behind him.}
Bernie: Lee, it’s Bernie. Bernie Jakes.
[lol Like Lee had no idea who is Bernie. Seems they are not close?]
Lee: Bernie, how are ya?
Bernie: I think that I’m being taken for a ride.
Lee: (very serious) I don’t like that, Bernie.
Bernie: Well, listen don’t you want the details?

Lee: (checks his watch) I can be there in 10 minutes.
{Amanda groans very loudly and rolls her eyes.} [haaa!]  
Bernie: Lee, are you all right?
[rofl! I don’t know why but Lee being super serious here about Bernie being taken for a ride, when it’s- Bernie, who needed to give his last name so Lee remembered him. And even Bernie is all – huh?! This is super weird!  haaaaaaa this kind of humor is so good in smk!!!!  Just me? or you too??]
Lee: Bernie, you’re an old friend, right? I’ll be glad to help you…
…Now you just sit there and I will be there in 10 minutes, Bye.
{Amanda has looked up in disbelief as Lee slams down the phone and leaps to his feet.}
Amanda: Well?
Lee: If he wasn’t such an old friend, uhh, I wouldn’t be running off like this.
[Oh Lee. The desperation to avoid anything Christmasy is impossible for you to hide – and it’s kinda endearing!]
Amanda: Whoa, whoa!
Lee: It’s probably nothing, Amanda, but look. I’ll be back in an hour and then we will go do that shopping.
Amanda: (still protesting as he’s making for the door) I can go with you. We can go shopping…
Lee: One hour (pulls door closed)
[Haaaa Lee is so funny here! I love this pic!]
Amanda: (grimaces and laughs a little). It’s gonna be another scarf this year.
[Amanda knows her man!]

Back to Titan Toys.
Have we seen this location before? Hmmm..
{Cut to room full of computers and men working.
A man walks into scene (Falcon) and crosses to where another man (Ingle) is watching the footage from the security camera. He freezes the frame of Bernie’s face the moment before he sprayed the lens of the camera.}
[Whoooooo it’s meet the baddies time!!]
Falcon: He used the party as a cover to get in
Ingle: Jakes…you should have let me kill him six months ago.
[Whoa. This baddie doesn’t muck around. If he has a nickname I am going to be really scared!]
Falcon: It’s always the wrecking ball with you, Ingle …never the fine strokes. [Bet this dude likes a good cup of tea!] So he got a look at the tank…he still doesn’t know what we’re doing. Ingle: He’s a problem we don’t need only two days before delivery. A delay won’t go well back in East Berlin …Germans admire punctuality.
Falcon: So who’s going to believe this disgruntled ex-employee?
Ingle: Why take the risk?
Falcon: I don’t want you to kill him, Ingle. Once we start killing people, we’re into a whole other level of concern.
[Whoa this baddie is of the ‘Nesbitt maniac’ kind.. you know-  the maniac is so dry and uninteresting!]
Ingle: Perhaps I’ll just slow him down a little.
{They exchange looks and Falcon leaves.}
[Muahahahahaaaaa. Ingle is going to slow him down. He’s nasty and cunning.. and well at least he has a bit of passion to his baddieness. Not like this Falcon. Lol I keep going to call him Falcone.
Now early smk really knew how to do baddies!!! haaaaaa..]
The evil scene ends there. Muahahaahaha.

{Cut to a small bungalow in the suburbs. Lee’s Corvette is parked in the driveway.}
[Bernie lives at 4943. lol I wonder if he’s just a few doors down on the lot from Amanda! haaa. Have we seen this home before?]

Bernie: (V.O.) They’ve been noodling with my original tank design for over a year.
{Cut to interior. Bernie’s living room is a mess of tables covered in lamps, toys, wires, etc. Lee picks something up and paces while Bernie talks.}
Lee: I thought Titan laid you off months ago.
Bernie: They did. But that didn’t make any difference to their hotshot MIT Research and Development team. They kept working on it. Lee: How do you know?
Bernie: Uh, well a lot of the engineers, they hang out at a bar over near the plant. I hear things. [and they cope with liquor about as well as Beaman from the sounds of it!]
Lee: Hmmm
Bernie: I built the original prototype to that tank ten years ago. Mr. Lomax, he loved it at the time but he didn’t think that it would go good in his toy line. He didn’t like war toys. So he put it on the shelf for this.
{Bernie crosses room and picks up a weird little stuffed toy monster covered with suction cups.
Lee chuckles.}
Bernie: Never seen Harry Bing the Strange Thing?
Lee: Ah Bernie, I wasn’t much for toys as a kid.
[yeah! Lee eventually went into the military and then intelligence – that’s where the really cool toys are!!]
{Bernie chuckles then tosses the toy up in the air. The toy sticks to the ceiling,Lee stares in amazement.}
Bernie: Sticks to anything.
[it begs the question.. ummm how do you get it down?!]
[I love Bernie’s childlike quality. and that chuckle of his! It’s lovely..]
…Brings in a million a year for Titan.
[Judging by Lee’s reaction – it’s contagious!]
Lee: (disbelieving) A million a year?
Bernie: I don’t know. We were one big happy family… until this guy Falcon comes along, buys the place and changes the whole ball game.
Lee: Where’d he come from?
Bernie: Who knows?… (Notices Lee playing with a model airplane) …Don’t play with that…
[rofl!!!!] …He came in here, hired a bunch of PhDs right out of college, compartmentalized all the work stations and went high tech. Lee, every door is locked, everything is a big secret.
[I love how he whispers this last bit!]
Lee: Well, we live in an age of secrets, Bernie.
Bernie: yeah, but this guy, he’s nuts about it. (suddenly) Want some cider?
[rofl. it’s like Bernie is treating Lee like he’s a kid.]
Lee: (confused by change of topic) Yeah, sure
{Bernie grabs a remote, pushes a button and a little robot device comes out with a pot of cider on a tray. Lee looks amused. Bernie lifts two glasses off the tray and hands Lee one.}
Bernie: here you go.
Lee: Heh, heh, thanks.
[Lol this all takes about a minute! It’s like they spent a huge budget on this robot and had to make sure they aired it plenty! lol.]
{Bernie presses some more buttons and the robot leaves.}
Lee: (continuing) So he goes high tech, all the old time engineers get their walking papers… then what?
Bernie: Uh, I thought I’d be around for a while after he revived my tank. I mean the whole place was buzzing over the R&D that was supposed to go into my original design. We were supposed to be in the stores by Christmas…but, uh, this is it from Titan this year. (He reaches for a toy and holds up a plastic frog wearing a beanie.) Walter the Singing Frog. Go ahead, push his beanie.
[did they advertise these toys in the ad break?!]
Lee: (laughing) What?
Bernie: Go, push the beanie
Lee: (humouring him) All right.
{He pushes down on the frog’s head and it begins “singing”.
[those green eyes that flash are kind a creepy!]
Bernie pushes the head again and it stops. Bernie makes a noise of disgust and puts the frog down again.}
Lee: So what happened to your tank?
Bernie: Oh. Well the day before we were supposed to hit the assembly line, Falcon decides it wouldn’t turn a profit and he locked up the prototype. And then at the last minute, he takes Walter here and slaps him right onto the market. I saw the tank, Lee. It’s no different from the one that I made ten years ago. Balsa wood…plastic bullets…sparks. That’s it.
Lee: Where’d all the R & D go? Up the chimney?
{Bernie looks around and claps his hands twice. Cut to a small cat toy under the table which rolls out apparently in response to the clapping, startling Lee.}
Bernie: Wacky Kat. Supposedly the next hot item from Titan.
[the cat flashes it’s eyes. Whoa. more creepy eyes. I’m sensing a pattern here!
I gottta say, the smile Lee gives Bernie is adorable.. and makes all the creepy toy eyes worth it!]

[One clap and it does a spin]
…A squirt gun has got more hi tech inside of it.
Lee: Look Falcon didn’t hire a lot of MIT engineers just to sit on their hands. Now what is going on Bernie?
Bernie: I’ve seen it happen before.
Lee: What?
Bernie: A big company, they promise a designer a toy, develop it, and then they put it on the shelf claiming it’s too expensive to mass produce…then they turn around and then they sell the guts to another company and the designer’s left holding the bag. No bonuses, no royalties…no credit. Lee, please – can you help me?
Lee: Toys are hardly my expertise.
Bernie: Huh, and I suppose that putting little cameras in wristwatches were mine when you were in trouble.
[whooooo!!!! I want to hear more!!! And come on Lee, I thought you were…… Old Friends!]
Lee: All right. But I can’t promise you anything.
Bernie: Anything, anything would be better than me sitting here wondering if I’m on the bad end of a million dollar rip off.

Okey dokey. Lee has a new case! Anyone have any thoughts they’d like to share?? Back in a few days with the next post!