to this little departure from our normal walk to explore the food and drink of SMK with Learjet. I have the dubious distinction of having had beverage-related job and qualification (plus I really like food and SMK) so this post seemed a natural fit for me. Watch out for Learjet’s drinking tips in this first post…
Juice and soda
A popular breakfast drink in the King household (If Thoughts Could Kill),
beware of OJ…because SMK baddies like it for breakfast too (Service Above and Beyond).
Learjet’s Tip no 1: Orange juice may transform you into a baddie. Consume it with caution.
Soda or as I like to call it: fizzy drinks. Without getting into debates about the pros and cons of sugar, it’s a popular choice, with Amanda “the journalist” enjoying one on the sports’ field (Sudden Death) – in fact, it may be a way of attracting a kiss whether you want it…
Lee or Bela? Now who would I choose? I just don’t know
Learjet’s Tip no 2: A soda might get you a kiss…but maybe not from the right person.
Amanda’s lemonade made the perfect birthday party drink…
…however her smoothies (The ACM Kid), while showing Amanda to be ahead of her time, were evidently less palatable.
Did Phillip share this with Alexei? Flush it done the loo? Or force-feed it to Jamie as cruel and unusual form of sibling punishment?
One of those iconic moments in SMK (Ship of Spies)
Learjet’s tip no 3: Buy milk. Your chances of finding Lee will rise (as high as your chances of winning the lottery ). (Anyone know what type of milk that is? Full-fat? Low-fat?Just so I can increase the odds )
It seems that Lee likes milk in his coffee (The Three Faces of Emily)
and Amanda likes her milk au naturel
or with cookies (if she’s got amnesia and it’s a strange man offering it to her)
Possibly the beverage most strongly associated with the SMK baddie is tea. And it’s not about the tea, it’s all about presentation.
Learjet’s tip no 4: If you don’t want to be mistaken for a baddie, drink your tea out of a plain white cup with matching teapot. No gilt or decorative swirls allowed.
Baddie teacups and pot:
1. Failed tip 4 due to presence of gilt (Fearless Dotty)
2. Failed tip 4 due to colour of cups and pot (Saved by the Bells)
3. Failed tip 4 due to material and style of pot (The Long Christmas Eve)
4. Oops, the Princess had better be careful that the Agency doesn’t arrest her for baddie tea behaviour (Waiting for Godorsky)
Both Dotty and Amanda enjoy a nice cup of tea.
Note the muted, restrained colour and style of their tea equipment (I Am Not Now, Nor Have I Ever…).
It has the added bonus that Dean’s mom doesn’t like it – look at that sour face – I am Not Now, Nor Have I Ever….).
Oops, that teashop is suspicious. Be careful, Dotty and Amanda! (Fearless Dotty)
And finally, did Lee and Amanda have tea at Buckingham Palace (To Catch a Mongoose)? Or did Amanda settle for Claridges?
Lee and Amanda have tea and cucumber sandwiches with Lord Bromfield after the leak of the “affair” between Lord Bromfield and Amanda (Affair of Bromfield Hall).
Coffee in SMK means…Lee’s coffee mug
The thermos cup just isn’t good enough for S1 Lee (Saviour).
And for those who thinks Lee’s legs are more than OK (and further proof that he like his coffee )
Learjet tip no 5: Lee needs his coffee. In the right mug.
There were some bad coffee moments with Eva and Angelo after dinner (Lost and Found)
and Magda demanding coffee from Amanda (Dead Ringer)
But also swoony coffee moments (it’s the hair, the European hair – The Legend of Das Geisterschloss)
or Lee opening up to Amanda (Burnout).
And who could forget the KGB agent (aka Emily) in the Three Faces of Emily
or Pearl the persistent waitress (they just want coffee, Pearl! – A Relative Situation)
And for those fans of Neds: coffee at Neds discussing car repairs (Car Wars).
You’re generally safe if someone is drinking coffee, with the exception of this baddie (Fearless Dotty).
Given the era during which SMK takes, we see surprisingly few hip flasks snuck out of jacket pockets in the Bullpen or tumblers with two fingers of whisky in Billy’s office – rather unusually for this time period. Agents are seen drinking when under cover. Which brings me to the first booze sighting in the series (and also, the first tux ) when Lee poses as a waiter just before he meets Amanda for The First Time.
Other undercover booze moments include one of my favourite SMK moments ever: “And frankly, Ricky Joe, sex with you was always a major disappointment…” (The ACM Kid).
Then there’s the infamous Strawberry Daiquiris made by reluctant “husband” Lee for all their neighbours (There goes the Neighbourhood)
Another good moment (if you can forget the unfortunate incident with the Porsche at the end of the episode) is when Amanda and Lee help out at the auction, Lee going undercover as a cocktail waiter (in a tux ) in Charity Begins at Home. See how well he cuts a lemon?
Then there’s the unfortunate beer-spilling moment in Munich. Oh Amanda, how could you be so clumsy (and Lee how could you wear that shirt? It deserves to be drowned in beer – The Times They Are a Changin’)
Learjet’s tip number 5: Don’t wear loud Hawaiian shirts unless you’re Magnum PI – otherwise someone might “accidentally” spill her drink on you
Thank goodness Lee avoids a similar incident later in the same episode (and he’s changed. And he’s got “the hair”)
Speaking of hair, do you remember this undercover “vodka” moment in the Three Faces of Emily ?
Does this whisky moment make you feel a bit better (Service Above and Beyond)?
Finally, there’s the poignant scenes with Burnout Lee and his boozing.
(keep that hand to yourself, Lee!)
Occasionally we see our favourite agents indulging when not strictly on duty – Francine at the Princess’s party (Waiting for Godorsky).
Champagne deserves a special mention here. After Christmas punch at the Bullpen (ah, the 80’s ),
and vodka (and beans) with the Russians in The Long Christmas Eve,
Lee recovers in hospital with a sneaky bottle of Champagne.
Then we see the beautiful European scenery (and Lee’s beautiful hair) while he’s again enjoying a glass (The Legend of Das Geisterschloss)
Next we have to see the cheap Champagne for Randy – Amanda kindly reminds Lee to remove the price- tag. It seems that Randy is of a similar quality as the Champagne…
Learjet’s equation no 1: Cheap Champagne=Cheap date
And finally for the most bizarre of the Champagne moments…the imaginary Casablanca Champagne moment, a figment of Amanda’s chicken salad sandwich-addled brain.
Learjet’s equation no 2: Poisoned chicken salad sandwich + Imaginary Champagne = Everything goes red
Before I close off this look back on drinks in Season one and two SMK, I want to issue a warning:
Learjet’s tip number 6: Baddies like posh drinks, especially spirits. Beware of suspicious people who drink expensive alcohol in ornate glassware.
And my final final warning is:
Learjet’s tip number 7: Drink in moderation, JWWM’ers. And remember not to drink on an empty stomach. (Note the empty snack bowl between Lee and Amanda )
All that Lee asks is that you can choose a “small but provocative selection of wines” (Remembrance of Things Past”
Which is your favourite Season 1 and 2 drink moment? Have I missed out any good ones? Look forward to hearing from you!