Hello everyone! Time for a new episode!
Huge thanks to RuthP who transcribed this episode for us! Ruth P has done all the descriptions which is a huge effort. I will likely use some of the descriptions, but also edit others, I think it’s clear when I’m the one describing something but if Ruth P has added an additional insight I will use { } these brackets to indicate. Hope that’s okay? Also, thanks to faithful Learjet for the formatting help- your contribution is really valuable!!
On with the show!
The episode opens with a close up on a duck, expanding out to a group of ducks. Hmm what can it mean?! lol. 
Well it’s a Washington DC duck so it’s probably an operative. Yeah, I’ll go with that..
We cut to a building ‘Statik Research Aerospace Communications’ 
[Statik huh. now that’s funny. Sounds like it will be very clear, audible communication that comes out of this place! ‘Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?’]
We see three men enter the building. Two seem to be cleaners. The man in the lead approaches the security guard. Who is suuuuuper friendly!
Blake: Here on a Saturday, Mr. Williamson?
Williamson: Well, that’s the way it goes, Blake.
Blake: You really must have put somebody’s nose out of joint upstairs. I thought you guys with the suits played golf all weekend.
Williamson: Hey, tell me about it. I’ll sure be glad when they get this bird put together. But you know engineers – one speck of dust and we’ve got to scrub down the whole place again. Oh, well. Will you clear these guys through the assembly area?
Blake: Uh-huh.
[LOL at the look of suitable boredom from the first guy. haaaa. He’s thinking: don’t make me smile at the security guard] 
Blake the suuuuper friendly security guard lets the two cleaners through [they work for Grime busters? oh that’s fantastic!! haaaa!]. Blake gives them the once over with his detector wand thingy. uh oh. Beep Beepppp!!!
He finds something in the bored guy’s pocket. 
[I guess the moment of Uh oh from Williamson is a clue that they are hiding something here..]
Bored guy reveals – he has a pocket knife in his pocket. [LOL where else would it be? it’s a pocket knife 
] Laughs are shared, though lol bored guy is too bored to be amused. 
[I guess SMK is trying to fool us that friendly Blake is about to get killed. Starting off with high suspense. I guess. lol. By the way I remember zero about this episode! You can probably already tell haaaa. Maybe this is the one where there is that thing about minding your manners! Lol! I thought that was going to be in the last one. tee hee.
We’ll get to it eventually I guess! ] 
Williamson: Ha-ha. Don’t forget to punch out the laser grid in Section Z-12.
The trio wander off, with the okay of suuuuper friendly Blake. Who waves them through, and lol doesn’t seem to look at their cleaning equipment at all. If that door is some kind of metal detection screen it’s doing a lousy job.
{Security camera is shown scanning the hallway. Williamson waits till it scans out of range and quickly punches code into a door with a rag shielding his fingers and gets through the door into the room and shuts the door before camera scans back. 
The script says the two signs on the door say ‘Alpha Prime Clearance Only’ and ‘Assembly Area’ but it’s not really clear.}
(The two janitors plug in their machines and start waxing the floor out in the hallway.) […They get busy busting grime!]
(Back to the security desk – Dutch Adams security guard enters.)
[lol how he taps his torch as he enters the building. Clearly: He means serious secure business!]
Blake: Mr. Adams?
Adams: Spot security check, Blake. You know the procedure.
Blake: Go right ahead.
Adams: (beginning to look in a logbook, notices the video screen) What the hell are those bozos doing in Z-12?
Blake: One of those bozos is our facility supervisor, sir. He’s cleared.
Adams: Hey, I don’t care if he’s Caspar Weinberger… [huh? someone explain who this is if you like? I can’t be bothered looking it up lol ] …He’s not authorized to bring uncleared personnel down here. 
Blake: It’s done all the time. Senior officers’ prerogative. I logged them in. 
[Naughty Naughty!]
(Adams draws his gun and approaches the two grime busters.)
Adams: Nobody moves. This is a top secret satellite project… [lol gee maybe you shouldn’t tell them that? haaaa] …Okay, raise ‘em. I want to see two of each. 
(Hearing what’s happening out in the hallway, Williamson joins them and tries to charm Adams to go away..)
Williamson: Relax, Dutch. They’re with me. 
Adams: This is a restricted area, sir. I’m ordering these men out of here and filing a report on this.
{One of the janitors flings his waxing machine at Adams and knocks him down while the other janitor flings his mop up over the security camera. Williamson shoves a rolling water bucket over against the floor waxer which Adams has his hands on and the floor waxer violently shorts out and electrocutes Adams, who is screaming and shaking. } 
[Whoa, pretty gruesome! Poor Adams. I bet friendly Blake saw nothing. and how did they cover this up?? I guess I’ll have to wait and see huh. Williamson is a brutal snake! 
but hey, he keeps the floors sparkling clean haaaa. ]
Anyway.. ‘Two Months Later.’
We see Billy pulling into the magical garage at IFF.
Billy enters his office with a coffee, paper and sneaky donut. Before Billy can take a bite, his phone rings. [lol I love this running gag of Billy and his donuts!]
Billy: Melrose here.
Dr. Smyth: Good morning, Billy.
Billy: Yes.
Dr. Smyth: Have you seen the morning news?
Billy: What?
Dr. Smyth: It concerns one of your freshmen.
Billy: Okay. I’ve got last night’s flash data summary.
Dr. Smyth: Forget your donut and read it; ‘kay?
Billy: What line?
Dr. Smyth: The eleventh, on page nine. Looks like our Internal Revenue [sic] committee is doing its job. Found it yet?
Billy: That’s impossible!
We cut to Lee in the Q bureau reading the sports section. He has his coffee.. and the phone rings.. Lee is not interested enough to put the paper down though..
Lee: Scarecrow.
Billy: Got a problem, Lee. 
Lee: Yeah, Billy. What is it?
Billy: The review board is getting ready to give Amanda a letter.
Lee: WHAT?
(Suddenly Lee is very interested. He puts the newspaper down and leans forward.)
[It’s not often I can say this about BB, but for me, his acting here is well.. not believable! I don’t know what it is.. but it just looks like BB acting to me. weird. don’t mind me. Dare I nark at our lovely BB? Yep I do… maybe the review board needs to give me a letter!]
Billy: You heard me. Amanda’s getting a letter.
[I’m guessing it’s not a good letter? lol]
Lee: What are you talking about? That’s got to be a mistake. I don’t believe it. Why would they give her a letter?
Billy: I don’t know. I want to see her in my office.
Lee: Well, she – she’s out in the field all day. She’s on assignment at, uh, Statik Aerospace. 
Billy: The review board’s meeting at 10 to discuss this and I want Amanda there to defend herself!
Lee: Billy –
Billy: Don’t argue with me, Scarecrow. Just get a hold of her. 
[lol it’s funny when Lee does the looking down the telephone thing!]
Lee: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure – I’ll try to catch her, okay?
Billy: I want you there too. Amanda’s going to need all the support we can give her.
Lee: All right.
(Lee hangs up.)
[Two phone calls in a row where we only see one half of the conversation. Unusual. and lots of talking going on while not much interesting happens.. other than Billy’s donut.
yeah yeah.. the agency is ready to pull the rug out from under Amanda for no reason, and her whole career is on the line! Billy and Lee need to help Amanda now!!!! geee.. why does this sound so familiar?]
{Exterior shot of Amanda’s house, early morning light. Phone rings. Amanda answers the phone.}
[Looks like Amanda was sitting down to some breakfast]
Amanda: Hello.
Lee: Hi.
Amanda: Hi.
Lee: I’m glad I caught you.
Amanda: What’s the matter? You miss me? 
Lee: Yeah. Sure. I miss you. [awh! Okay now this is a phone call I’m interested in seeing!! Best. Episode. Ever. haaaa] 
Amanda: What’s up?
Lee: Uh, Amanda, something’s come up. They need to see you down here this morning.
Amanda: Oh, yeah, really? What is it?
Lee: They’re giving you a letter.
Amanda: What do you mean, they’re giving me a letter? 
Lee: Amanda, it’s an expression. They’re – they’re downgrading your security clearance. They’re putting limits on it. [What?! I thought Amanda King was a security clearance all of her own?!] 
Lee: It’s kind of like putting a condition on your driver’s license, saying you can’t drive your car at night.
Amanda: Wait a minute, now. It sounds a little more serious than that.
Lee: Okay. It is.
Amanda: Okay. What is it? What did I do?
Lee: I don’t know yet. But the security review board wants to see you down here at 10.
Lee: So please get down here as fast as you can, okay, so we can figure this thing out.
Amanda: Eh.
Lee: If they do this to you, they could chain you to a desk in purchasing, make you a gopher –we might not be able to work with each other anymore.
[Awhhh so that’s what Lee is worried about?! tee hee.. it’s kinda sweet.. Lee’s missing you alright Amanda! Hey come on Lee you could transfer to purchasing too. ahem.
Okay, this is terrible! a disaster! ]
Amanda: Okay, okay. 
[Sweet how Lee is more upset about it than Amanda is! She’s reassuring him!]
Amanda: I’ll be right there.
(They hang up)
Amanda (to herself) : After I eat my pancakes. 
(Amanda returns to her breakfast to finish eating.) 
[I’m guessing she doesn’t eat that for breakfast very often!]
{Interior shot of Lee in the Q Bureau}
[He’s on the phone. Offff course he is. Yes- another phone call!!! 8 minutes into this episode and we’ve seen 4 phone calls!] 
Lee: Call in some favors. Talk to people who owe you money. Make some promises. Something. Just get me something. All right?
(Amanda arrives)
Amanda: Good morning.
(Amanda places fresh flowers in her vase on her desk). [Whooo I see she is wearing flats again]
Lee: Good morning. I thought by the time you got here I’d have the inside track, but, uh, it’s still a deep, dark secret.
Amanda: Well, look. Don’t get aggravated. All right? I haven’t done anything.
[Hey you should know by now that doesn’t mean anything – you can get into a whole lot of trouble at IFF without actually having done anything!!]
Lee: I know. I can’t help it. I hate review boards. They make me nervous. Spies for spies. 
Amanda: Well, they just have a job to do. 
[Again, Amanda is keeping calm, and the one reassuring Lee here.]
Lee: Yeah, and they’re gonna do it in about five minutes. You’re right. There’s no use in getting nervous. We have to just sit down and think this thing through.
Amanda: Right.
Lee: What could be behind this?
Amanda: I don’t know.
Lee: Where did you cross security? 
Amanda: Well, all I’ve been doing is the Statik Aerospace review and, um, nothing else….
[Well, that narrows things down nicely!]
….Now, I know they’re running a background check on me.
Lee: Not just another background check. Now, remember, two weeks ago you were worried about it.
Amanda: I wasn’t worried about it. I mean you know, you always wonder – 
(fades away to a flashback scene)
— a little bit about that, but I wasn’t worried.
(We flash back to Amanda walking along an IFF corridor, straight past Lee without even noticing him.) 
[Haaa bet Lee isn’t use to that!]
Lee: Hey.
Amanda: Hi.
Lee: What’s got you so preoccupied? 
Amanda: Aw, security’s doing another special background on me. I’ve already passed one of those.
Lee: I know. It’s an albatross hanging around the neck of every full-time agent…
…They hit me every three or four years, the same old dirt… (Lee turns to face Amanda and takes her in his arms)…Listen – 
Amanda: Hm? [Yeah people walking by seeing this wouldn’t have a clue about these two having a relationship. haaa yeah right!]
Lee lowers his voice to a whisper and leans in.. [Oh my!!!]
Lee: If you had any deep, dark secrets,…
…they’d have found them by now.
Amanda: I don’t have any secrets. 
(Lee thinks to himself for a beat)
Lee: Oh? 
Amanda: Nope. 
Lee: I can think of one or two. 
Amanda: I’m late for class. 
Amanda doesn’t dignify that one with a response. Because her knees are going all wobbly and her brain has just turned to mush. Class yeah class. I had a class. Gah!
Lee is pretty amused with himself.
Love how he watches her walk off. 
He is so hooked tee hee. 
This little flirty move/ exchange reminds me of the scene in Fast Food for Thought.. [HERE]
He steps closer with his hands behind his back there too..
Remember? Field Experience!
Anyone else following on with the walk and not knowing what happens next like me??!!
Love to hear what you think all!
"Just walk with me.." 
That line of Amanda’s about the pancakes drives me nuts. She doesn’t get how serious this is!
Not crazy about the flashbacks either, but Holy Baldy that scene in the hallway is so adorable, especially Lee’s smile! Add me to the lost concentration club! WOW!
I thought that was the same building as Spiderweb too. I remember them using it on Hart To Hart Returns as well, including the interiors, so that’s not just a set they’re on.
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I had something coherent to say until that hallway scene…😍 Dimples, proximity, voice, facial expression…
…ok, I think I can manage typing now.
Wasn’t this Statik building also used at the end of Spiderweb when they’re catching the bad guys, or maybe that wasn’t the same? I just remember Lee have a bad-boy swimming chase through a pond out front of a similar looking building.
Also, the Grime Busters made my son break out into the Ghost Buster theme but he changed the words to something about blowing people up or stealing stuff or something hilarious! And I think that the main Grime Buster looks like a cross between Sting and MacGyver. 🤣
I’m not hating this opening sequence. I think it was kinda a neat effort seeing the first-thing-in-the-morning side to everyone’s routine – Billy with his donut and coffee (more reasons to love Billy), Lee with his newspaper (this happens again in TMWDT as he studies “architecture” 😉), and Amanda with her pancakes. It’s nice that she can sit down and have a breakfast, because normally she’s having to rush out at meal time.
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My autocorrect changed “bad-guy” to “bad-boy” bwahahaha🤣🤣🤣
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Many hear can relate! Myself included.. heady stuff.
Your son sounds hilarious! He needs to do a youtube vid of his song!
whoo maybe! It would be from a different angle, but it could be the same building. I’m not sure.. what does everyone else think?
Here’s the building in spiderweb:
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My source for all SMK locations (his idea of a vacation is driving around LA to find them) says they are absolutely the same building.
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So cool, Janet! Thanks for the confirmation!!! Should we call your source “LA-Crawler”? He is an impressive source. 😉😁
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First of all, I want to thank everyone who helps run this blog…it’s been A Lovely Little Distraction for me during these very challenging times. (Speaking of, I hope everyone is well!) Secondly: I adore this sexy/sweet hallway scene…but yes, their behavior does seem somewhat illogically revealing for two people who want to keep their romantic relationship on the down low…especially when those people are secret agents allegedly skilled in the art of deception! 🙂 However, my read on their behavior is this: They just can’t help it. Their feelings for each other are so strong by this point that they frequently spill out in the form of revealing public displays, even though they are trying to show restraint. When you think about it, the same thing happened with Lee and Amanda on a personal level, too…they were very touchy and clingy with each other (physically and emotionally) long before they admitted their true feelings for one another, due to the same “spilling out” concept being at play. So swoony…
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Success!!!! So glad you persisted with trying to log in again to join us texaslady!
I like your take, I agree – they’ve kind of always shown their true feelings for one another, even when they were each unaware of them!
So swoony indeed!
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In an odd bit of timing, it just crossed my feed that Richard Herd, who plays the baddie with the patch just passed away yesterday, aged 87. RIP.
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Aw, how sad! He was a good baddie!
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Wow. RIP
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Wow that really is odd timing. The one episode he is in.
Maybe it’s a good thing, we can send off Richard Herd with a walk through his smk episode, and delight in his (pretend) evilness to celebrate his time with us.
Yes, RIP. Should his family or friends ever google search and find his name here: I send out my condolences. And hope you enjoy this quirky walk through one of his 80s acting gigs! I like to think he had lots of fun acting being sooooo evil in this episode, especially as he made the effort to attend smk reunions!
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Lee’s smokin’ hot dimples as he stands sooo close to Amanda in the corridor sets off my smoke alarm e v e r y time!
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Oh yes😍I looove the hallway scene. That tinge of intimacy,eye contact,soft whispers abt the “secrets”that only HE knows🥰🥰🥰Awww..makes the episode worth the watch,just for this scene.
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totally agree. Wish we had more scenes like this.
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this needs to be embroidered onto a pillow or something!! haaaa
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Thanks so much for the transcription praise, Iwsod, but all the credit for excellent descriptions goes to Learjet! I got the words down on the page but my feeble attempts at correct descriptions needed a masterful hand. I had no idea how to make nonjudgmental descriptions to enable the viewer to decide emotional content for themself, but Learjet in her superb editor’s detail cleaned it all up for me and made a very professional transcript. Thank you Learjet!
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Ruthp, that’s very kind 🙂 🙂 🙂 It’s a pleasure to help out.
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awhhh I’m feeling the love!!! You guys rock!!
Thanks RuthP! Thanks Learjet!!!
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I am so glad to see that I’m not the only one that thinks Lee’s initial scene feels “off” somehow. They were probably trying for showing an increase in disbelief from Smyth telling Billy and Billy telling Lee, but it just feels a bit like overacting somehow. I think we’ve gotten so used to subtle acting from BB that this seems odd. I give them credit for doing a different pattern for opening up an episode, but it’s not my favourite, for reasons that will become obvious later on in the song. (And if you’re old enough and Australian enough to know that joke, I salute you!)
That hallway scene though… ahhhh. It’s everything we like about these two, the jokes, the flirting, the touching, the dimples….
Thank you, newly hired gutter barista, yes I would like chocolate sprinkles on top of my cafe latte
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sorry! I’ll need this one explained- now I’m curious!!! It’s probably something I should get but ummm my excuse is that I’ve been looking at an awful lot of Lee Stetson images lately..
Oh. My. Gosh! this is flippin hilarious!!!!
Does the gutter Barista have a name?
Hi everyone!!! Hope you are all well.
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Bob Hudson’s “The Newcastle Song” was a big hit in my childhood in 1975 (although his “Teenage Cremation” is still my favourite!) They’re on Youtube if you;re so inclined.
It’s an SMK gutter so I’m going ot say the gutter barista is probably named Alan.
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Whoa.. yeah this is before my time sorry… and I’ve got friends who live in Newcastle!
Alan??? I straight away thought of this!!!
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Barista Alan, choc sprinkles…..
You crack me up!!
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I like how Amanda’s going to finish her breakfast and all else can wait. Hey, pancakes are clearly more important than donuts. lol. But most of all, she’s confident and doesn’t feel the need to worry.
Those wax dudes look familiar. I thought they were in another episode? Probably bad guys as well, but the episode isn’t coming to mind. I’ll see if I can locate it.
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Oops… I meant ‘floor wax’ dudes, not ‘wax dudes.’
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First your pancakes over donuts joke made me lol and then wax dudes!! Thanks for the giggles today!
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If only I could have a nice big stack of pancakes in the morning and look like Amanda….
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You read my mind!!!
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Caspar Weinberger was Secretary of Defense during President Ronald Reagan’s term of office.
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Welcome back Jeanine! I may be mistaken, but from what I can find your last comment was in 2015: so can I just say I think that is Awesome!!!! Really great to hear from you again 🙂
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I love it when you all of a sudden say “Best. Episode. Ever.” when they throw us a relationship bone in the middle of utter boredom. It makes me snort every time.
I’m completely distracted by first Lee’s hands and then his dimples in the flashback scene. This is either super boring or I’m very easily distracted. Maybe both?
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Hmm for you mommynificient it’s the… Best. Snort. Ever. ??
Oh I know. Lee’s hands and dimples are always a distraction! Adoring, hooked, deeply in love Lee with those hands and dimples? It’s just soooooo good!!!
We are right there with you mommynificent!
I can be flippant, distracted and inconsistent at anytime, ha! But.. when it comes to Lee and Amanda goodness..I’m proud of it!!!
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I love that Amanda is very cool after the phone call and finishes her breakfast. Good girl!
I love how Lee is holding Amanda in the hallway. So tender and loving. Cracking up, though, because he acknowledges her secrets and is exposing them while he’s saying it. If he is not more careful, he might get a letter himself.
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Security guards get such a bad rap in TV shows. They are definitely red shirts (Star Trek). Blake is too easy going and Dutch is playing Rambo. If Dutch was this serious about it, he would have called in backup.
That is a pretty nasty death and Williamson is shockingly cold hearted. Don’t like this scene.
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yeahhhh poor security guards! and.. I do think Lee looks mighty fine in a security guard uniform..
I miss that haircut.. but.. anyway.. there I go, getting distracted by Lee Stetson.
[Clagjanet, let me know when you are finished with the espresso machine: I’m next!]
I did consider whether to include that pic, it is quite violent.. but I figured the standard here is – if it’s in smk we can show it. soooo I went with it..
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Mmmmm….. security guard Lee. You’re officially my favorite person for the day, iwsod!
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Love, love, love this pic of Lee. No red shirt under that uniform. Mmmmm. So adorable with Amanda in the back ground. Thanks for posting!!!!
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The conversation between Billy and Dr. Smyth is intentionally vague, but it’s too vague IMHO. Thank goodness for the donut or this whole scene would not be worth it.
Lee, lose the white jacket!
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Love the donut (doughnut to me 🙂 ) joke! IMHO, it’s what SMK does best – those little ‘insider jokes’….
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so agree Learjet!
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Cap Weinberger was the Secretary of Defense.
Why is Williamson wearing the patch on his glasses? It would make sense if there was a reference to it, but nothing. I find it distracting.
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ohhhhh Thanks!
I don’t get the patch either. I just googled it. lol there are some funny eye patches out there..
Maybe he is trying to fix his lazy eye..
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It made me think of General Hospital. I didn’t watch the soap, but I know there’s a guy named Patch. I guess Williamson has one bad eye and poor vision in the other? Or it’s a different sort of barnstorm list?
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A different sort of Barnstorm list—good one—-but got me thinking. The writters knew that we knew that the baddies usually have bad mustaches, so they decided to trick us with a bad eye patch instead. Ha, they’re so smart. Got us this time. 🙂
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You might be thinking of Days Of Our Lives with Patch Johnson. I briefly watched that one.
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