1/7 Season Four: Episode Eleven- Santa’s Got a Brand New Bag–Scarecrow & Mrs King

Merry SMK’y Christmas Everyone!!!!! I’ve somehow managed to hit this ep on Christmas day.. whoooooo!!! Thanks to Clagjanet for transcribing this episode and making it so much easier for me to walk through this episode! Are we ready?
Anything that is Clagjanet’s description will go in these brackets {xxx}.
Clagjanet has had some fun while transcribing and included some of their own comments – cool!!!
I’m going to include them using the following format  {{Clagjanet: xxx}}.
My descriptions go in these ( ). All clear?!

One last thing: many of us may have really unpredictable availability to engage with SMK over the holidays- if you can’t join the walk for this one in real time, no dramas. I’ll be taking a break over January/February – so you can catch up then. I may not be around much myself.. but.. we’ll see! What will be will be, and I have zero expectations!!!
With that said… let’s get this party started!!!

Immediately, it’s clear that SMK is going all out with the Christmas theme! It’s very cute. Charming!! the chimey tune is pretty hilarious! {Credits play to Christmassy version of the theme song sung by a choir, lots of jingle bells, etc. Original script says it is December 22.}
(We see across an entrance reads ‘TITAN TOYS’)
{An older gentlemen (Bernie Jakes) is costumed as a Wise Man, complete with fake beard, robe and crown. We hear o.c. sounds of a Christmas party, carol singing, etc., and several other guests pass him.}

{Bernie moves quickly down the hall, and then, climbs on a chair by an overhead security camera. We see through the camera’s angle as he takes out a can of shaving cream and coats the lens (but he was clearly visible for a moment).}

{He then moves to a door, takes out a syringe and injects it into the lock. After a beat the lock begins to sizzle and smoke. Bernie enters.

He enters an inner office with a set of file cabinets against the wall. Going directly to the last one, he places a microcomputer safe-cracker near the lock on one of the file drawers. He then turns the dial and watches as red LED’s turn green on the safe-cracker, indicating tumblers falling into place. He sifts through a collection of files, then lifts out a small model of the tank, then some blueprints.}
{Cut to a security guard running down the hallway.
Bernie begins to collect up the papers and model. Cut to Guard pausing at camera to look up at shaving foam.
As Bernie tries to leave the office through a far door, his gown catches on the door handle. Bernie tugs to get free. He places the tank and blueprints down to use both hands to free himself.
The guard bursts in through another door, gun drawn. {{Clagjanet: How, ummm… American}}
Guard: Hold it right there!
{Bernie tugs himself free from the door and runs but there is no time to grab the tank and blueprints. He takes off down the corridor.
[gah!!!! this guy is a real bumbler. What a clumsy thief!! He is funny!! I guess we can see he is no professional! ]
The guard comes out after him and begins pursuit. He approaches two party goers – one dressed as a Wise Man, one as a little elf.}
Guard: Hey, I told you to stop!
{The guard rips off the beard of the party goer to reveal a black man. [What a grinch!] He looks around the corner to see Bernie’s discarded gown and crown.}

[Ahhhh lol I remember creating a meme from this opening that still makes me laugh today. I’ll publish it in the Christmas day memes post! Got any to contribute??? Email me them – there’s still time!!!]

Moving on, and we head to the agency…

[I’m a bit surprised to see trees with leaves on them at Christmas time in Washington DC! Errrrr editor!]
{Cut to the Bullpen.
Decorated to the hilt and crowded with employees, the annual Agency Christmas party is in full swing. Amanda, looking lovely in full Christmas finery, enters carrying several stacked plates of cookies.
She pauses to hand one plate to a woman seated at a desk near the door and they exchange pleasantries. We can hear voices off camera.}

T.P.: No it was the wizards of early Welsh sagas that promoted the powers of mistletoe. And of course, these druids expected something far different from the…
{Cut to Efraim, Francine and TP sitting together. Efraim is looming over Francine with mistletoe while T.P. pontificates.
Francine leaps to her feet as she sees Amanda.}
[Why is TP there at the agency?]
Francine: There’s Amanda! Excuse me. I have to go.
{Cut to Amanda, offering another plate of cookies to someone}
Amanda: Merry Christmas.
Francine: Is he still following me?
Amanda: Who?
Francine: Beaman.
{Cut to Beaman watching Francine from across the room.}
[Ewwwwww! ]
Amanda (looking): One o’clock and closing fast.
Francine: One eggnog a year and his libido kicks into over drive. (bites into cookie) Mmm, Amanda, you’ve gotta give me the recipe for these cookies.
{{Clagjanet: Why? So that Moline can bake them for you? Maybe Francine is like me and can bake, but not cook?}}
[Well yeah. That sounds good to me Clagjanet!]
Amanda: Mmmm
{{Clagjanet:To be honest, she sounds doubtful about Francine’s baking abilities too.}}
Francine: (dragging Amanda) Come on, we can hide by the punch bowl.
Amanda: Okay
{They start through the crowd.}
Leatherneck: Oh hi, Mrs. King! How are you?
Amanda: Hi Leatherneck.
Leatherneck: Hi Francine.
{Francine grunts around a mouth full of cookie.}
Leatherneck: Look, I’m sorry about the decorations.
Amanda: Oh, the decorations look wonderful.
Leatherneck: Yeah, yeah…but they cut my budget by half this season. I had to scratch for everything. (proudly) But you know, it is amazing what you can do with all those red and green things you find in a munitions locker, right?
{Francine is making head motions to keep moving.}
Beaman (stepping up): Aren’t we the luckiest people in the world?
{He grabs Francine as she starts to make her escape and pulls her into a side hug}
Amanda: Oh yes, Efraim, this is the season to count our blessings.
Beaman (slurred): I meant Francine and me.
Amanda: Ah
Beaman: Can’t you just feel the magic?
Leatherneck: Yeah, that magic’s going to hurt you in the morning, buddy… …Great cookies, Mrs King. Excuse me.
[you’re excused Colonel Sanders!]
(Leatherneck leaves)
Francine: (twirling out of Efraim’s embrace) You know, Efraim, we were just on our way to the punchbowl.
Amanda: See you later, Efraim!
Beaman: I know right where it is. Follow me. (bellows) Coming through!
[Beaman seems to think it is his heroic duty to make sure Amanda and Francine can find the punch bowl- I wonder if I’d seen this 20 years ago if I would have found this funny.
Now? It’s kinda painful to watch. And.. it’s quite possible it’s just me, but.. I kinda loathe creepy Beaman!]
{They arrive at a table at the back of the room where there is a punch bowl, a display of Christmas cakes and a large wrapped box. Billy is greeting everyone and handing out wrapped cakes}
Billy: Aha. Francine, Amanda, help yourself to Mrs. Melrose’s cake.
Amanda: Oh thank you sir. Merry Christmas. {Francine grabs two and passes one to Amanda.}

Billy: And Merry Christmas to you! Aha – and now this. here you are.
[I love we see Billy hoard Amanda’s cookies!!]
…This is something else.
{He opens box and lifts out a white cowboy hat}
{{Clagjanet: Yes, probably a Stetson}}
Beaman: Read the inscription!
Billy: (reading) “To one of the good guys” (He beams) Alright!
{He puts on the hat to much cheering and applause}
[Mel Stewart has the best smile!!!]
Billy: I’m going to wear this with pride. Thank you all.
[Amanda’s is pretty wonderful too!]
{Efraim is still holding mistletoe and we see Francine’s eyes drop down. We cut to shot of his hand sliding down Francine’s “hip” until her hand grabs his}
[Ewwww why is Francine not giving him a right hook?

….like Mancine does soooooo well???!!!! haaaaa.
Beaman’s creepiness here does not date well in my book. I wonder how you are all experiencing this? do tell!]
Francine: Efraim, is this yours?…
(He smiles..

She picks up his icky hand)
… Let’s talk.
{She drags him away, leaving Amanda and Billy at the table.}
Billy: My wife soaked these in something new this year.
Amanda: Oh, well we enjoyed ours last year, sir.
Billy: Oh well, I’ll pass that on to Jeanie. {He points to one of Amanda’s plates of cookies.} Uh, do you think I can have one of those before they all disappear?
Amanda: Oh sure, go ahead. Here, take a whole one – there you go.
Billy (sniffing the plate of Amanda’s cookies appreciatively): Oh, you sure know how to put together a Christmas cookie. {He hides the plate in the box with the hat}
Amanda: Well thank you sir.
{Cut to Francine and Beaman. He is holding mistletoe up again and she is pushing it out of the way.}
Francine: (sighing) Efraim… why do you do this?
Beaman: What?
Francine: Last year you had one glass of punch, and then you gave me the pink slip to your Buick and you begged me run off to Greece with you to raise goats.
[Umm call me crazy, but not only is this guy ewwwww nasty, he’s a National Security risk no?! All you need is the offer of one vodka from some Russian honeypot and he’d tell everything!]
Beaman: So?
{Cut back to Billy.}
Billy: has anybody seen Lee?
(Francine arrives back at the table. )
Amanda: Uh yes sir, He’s up in the Q Bureau working on the Brandenburg file.
Francine: No he’s not. I closed that last night.
Amanda: Well, he’s up there working on something. {Billy glances at a white board behind him marked “Duty Roster”
We see:
L. Nelson -so is Leatherneck his actual first name?? [named after his mother huh…]
E. Beaman,
TP. Aquinas -despite the fact he’s supposed to work at a government archive somewhere, not at the Agency, Lee and then three other names.}
Billy: Well, look at who put himself back on the duty roster.
{Cut to close up of Lee’s name on the board}
{{Clagjanet: Kurt Galvao and Ronald Smith were all producers on the show and Kevin Corcoran was assistant director on this one}
[I’m going to add to all this – I’ve been sucked down into this rabbit hole! haaaaaa!!!
Just to recap… In the wide shot the three bottom names are:
R.Smith
K. Corcoran
B. Williams

As Clagjanet mentioned, the first two are crew.
Their names are often seen in the credits: 
I bet R. Gordon must be feeling pretty ripped off right now haaaaa.
So the third name:
B. Williams  – My guess is that it’s Brian Williams, stunt double on 13 episodes. He isn’t listed under this episode but is in the next one Promises to Keep (TP’s stunt double).
You know what’s pretty hilarious here though. the wide shot names are different to the close up names! haaaaa..
here’s the wide shot again:
here’s the close up:
We have a new name! K. Galvao – who has replaced TP Aquinas.

Who, is in the end credits of this episode! haaaa.. nice one Kurt! Snuck in there!!!
Maybe this is because they later realised, as Clagjanet pointed out – TP Aquinas wouldn’t be on a staff roster at the agency!
Anyway….. I digress!]
So Lee has sneakily put himself down on the list to work.
Amanda: Well, how did he do that?
Billy: Beats me. We all work too hard not to take some time off at Christmas, including Lee. Get up to the Q Bureau and get some Christmas spirit in the guy. That’s a Christmas order.
Amanda: (grinning) Yes sir.
{She turns and leaves}
Billy: (to Francine as he picks up a cake) Did I give you one of these already?
Francine: Yes.
[I love how this scene closes with Francine going for another one of Amanda’s cookies, while Billy trying to offload another of his wife’s cakes!!!! so smk!!!
Hey, it looks like Amanda didn’t buy presents for Francine and Billy – just the amazing cookies this year. What.. no intrigue? good for the spy?! LOL maybe this is an indicator that Amanda isn’t trying so hard and now feels she is accepted in the agency?!]
{Cut to elevator in the hallway. Amanda moves to the elevator, she pushes the button and waits patiently. The doors open and Dr. Smyth emerges from behind the usual array of hanging coats.}
[Gah I remember this scene!!! gave me nightmares!!]
Amanda: Hello sir, Merry Christmas.
Smyth: Ditto, King.
Amanda: Are you looking for the party?
Smyth: (pats coat pocket) I’m packing some GC’s for the gang. (off her look) Gift certificates, King.
Amanda: Mmm.
Smyth: Point me in the right direction.
Amanda: Ah, right down there in the bullpen, Sir.
[I love how Amanda doesn’t give him cookies haaaa]
Smyth: Oh here. {He pulls out an envelope and hands it to her} Pick up a bauble on me.
Amanda: Thank you sir. Merry Christmas.
{She gives him a kiss on the cheek, much to his surprise.}
[Nooooooo!!! Should I include a picture of this?? Ohhh okay, I’m going to get this over with super quickly!

There. done. Now. Never happened.. and if you mention it I’ll deny it ever happened. ahem.]
Smyth: Don’t ever do that again.
[Do what? I’m really not sure what he is referring to but um well.. whatever!]
Amanda: (trying not to laugh) I won’t sir.

Smyth: Thanks. Peace on Earth, okay
Amanda: Yes sir
[Okay I do love how Amanda doesn’t seem to give two hoots that she shouldn’t have done that! haaaaa.
You can just imagine what she’s thinking: Bah Humbug!]
{He walks off as Amanda gets on the elevator.}

Amanda’s on a mission to ‘get some Christmas cheer into Lee’ Aie. now that sounds like a tough mission!!!
She may need back up.

Hope you have a wonderful holiday all!
I’m going to pause here peeps.

As always – can’t wait to hear from you!!!!!