2/7 Season Four: Episode Eleven- Santa’s Got a Brand New Bag–Scarecrow & Mrs King

I’m a bit pressed for time so am relying lots of Clagjanet’s amazing descriptions. Clagjanet you are lifesaver!
Time to see how Operation ‘fill Lee with Christmas spirit’ is going!

{Cut to Q Bureau. Lee is at his desk, feet up, studying files.
Amanda’s side of the room is elaborately decorated for the season. Decorated tree beside her desk and a wreath on the wall, plus garlands on her desk and cards on a string behind her chair. Lee’s desk has nothing.}

[I love how Amanda’s side only has the decorations, like Lee refused to let them spread to his side of the room or something haaaaa]

Amanda: Hi!
Lee: Hi! {He straightens up, looking guilty}
Amanda: They’re all waiting for you downstairs
Lee: Oh the party’s started already, huh?
Amanda: Yeah
{she bends and places a gift under the tree}
Lee: I just got all wrapped up in this report and forgot about it. [wrapped up? hey! that’s a great pun Lee!]
Amanda: (with fake heartiness) Well! Would you look at that? I think Santa Claus has been here.
Lee: (looking annoyed) Oh no…
…Is Billy handing out those damn cakes again? Amanda: Come on. Jeanie makes these cakes every year just to spread a little Christmas cheer and I don’t know why you’re so hard to get in the mood.
Lee: I am not hard to get in the mood!
[I don’t the mood Lee is thinking of is the mood Amanda is thinking of.]
Amanda: You are impossible to get in the mood!
{she crosses to stand beside his desk, glaring at him.}
Lee: Amanda…
Amanda: We ought to grab an eggnog downstairs and then I can take you to the nearest shopping mall and I’ll help you do your shopping.
Lee: Aieee
{The phone rings and Amanda slams her hand down on the receiver to keep him from answering it. }
Amanda: Ohhhh!
{She sighs as Lee looks at her with an oh-come-on expression, lifts the receiver
and passes it to him with a look of amused exasperation before walking back to her desk.}
Lee: Yeah Stetson.
{Cut to Bernie, sitting in front of a table of jumbled wires and boxes. There is a bare Christmas tree behind him.}
Bernie: Lee, it’s Bernie. Bernie Jakes.
[lol Like Lee had no idea who is Bernie. Seems they are not close?]
Lee: Bernie, how are ya?
Bernie: I think that I’m being taken for a ride.
Lee: (very serious) I don’t like that, Bernie.
Bernie: Well, listen don’t you want the details?

Lee: (checks his watch) I can be there in 10 minutes.
{Amanda groans very loudly and rolls her eyes.} [haaa!]  
Bernie: Lee, are you all right?
[rofl! I don’t know why but Lee being super serious here about Bernie being taken for a ride, when it’s- Bernie, who needed to give his last name so Lee remembered him. And even Bernie is all – huh?! This is super weird!  haaaaaaa this kind of humor is so good in smk!!!!  Just me? or you too??]
Lee: Bernie, you’re an old friend, right? I’ll be glad to help you…
…Now you just sit there and I will be there in 10 minutes, Bye.
{Amanda has looked up in disbelief as Lee slams down the phone and leaps to his feet.}
Amanda: Well?
Lee: If he wasn’t such an old friend, uhh, I wouldn’t be running off like this.
[Oh Lee. The desperation to avoid anything Christmasy is impossible for you to hide – and it’s kinda endearing!]
Amanda: Whoa, whoa!
Lee: It’s probably nothing, Amanda, but look. I’ll be back in an hour and then we will go do that shopping.
Amanda: (still protesting as he’s making for the door) I can go with you. We can go shopping…
Lee: One hour (pulls door closed)
[Haaaa Lee is so funny here! I love this pic!]
Amanda: (grimaces and laughs a little). It’s gonna be another scarf this year.
[Amanda knows her man!]

Back to Titan Toys.
Have we seen this location before? Hmmm..
{Cut to room full of computers and men working.
A man walks into scene (Falcon) and crosses to where another man (Ingle) is watching the footage from the security camera. He freezes the frame of Bernie’s face the moment before he sprayed the lens of the camera.}
[Whoooooo it’s meet the baddies time!!]
Falcon: He used the party as a cover to get in
Ingle: Jakes…you should have let me kill him six months ago.
[Whoa. This baddie doesn’t muck around. If he has a nickname I am going to be really scared!]
Falcon: It’s always the wrecking ball with you, Ingle …never the fine strokes. [Bet this dude likes a good cup of tea!] So he got a look at the tank…he still doesn’t know what we’re doing. Ingle: He’s a problem we don’t need only two days before delivery. A delay won’t go well back in East Berlin …Germans admire punctuality.
Falcon: So who’s going to believe this disgruntled ex-employee?
Ingle: Why take the risk?
Falcon: I don’t want you to kill him, Ingle. Once we start killing people, we’re into a whole other level of concern.
[Whoa this baddie is of the ‘Nesbitt maniac’ kind.. you know-  the maniac is so dry and uninteresting!]
Ingle: Perhaps I’ll just slow him down a little.
{They exchange looks and Falcon leaves.}
[Muahahahahaaaaa. Ingle is going to slow him down. He’s nasty and cunning.. and well at least he has a bit of passion to his baddieness. Not like this Falcon. Lol I keep going to call him Falcone.
Now early smk really knew how to do baddies!!! haaaaaa..]
The evil scene ends there. Muahahaahaha.

{Cut to a small bungalow in the suburbs. Lee’s Corvette is parked in the driveway.}
[Bernie lives at 4943. lol I wonder if he’s just a few doors down on the lot from Amanda! haaa. Have we seen this home before?]

Bernie: (V.O.) They’ve been noodling with my original tank design for over a year.
{Cut to interior. Bernie’s living room is a mess of tables covered in lamps, toys, wires, etc. Lee picks something up and paces while Bernie talks.}
Lee: I thought Titan laid you off months ago.
Bernie: They did. But that didn’t make any difference to their hotshot MIT Research and Development team. They kept working on it. Lee: How do you know?
Bernie: Uh, well a lot of the engineers, they hang out at a bar over near the plant. I hear things. [and they cope with liquor about as well as Beaman from the sounds of it!]
Lee: Hmmm
Bernie: I built the original prototype to that tank ten years ago. Mr. Lomax, he loved it at the time but he didn’t think that it would go good in his toy line. He didn’t like war toys. So he put it on the shelf for this.
{Bernie crosses room and picks up a weird little stuffed toy monster covered with suction cups.
Lee chuckles.}
Bernie: Never seen Harry Bing the Strange Thing?
Lee: Ah Bernie, I wasn’t much for toys as a kid.
[yeah! Lee eventually went into the military and then intelligence – that’s where the really cool toys are!!]
{Bernie chuckles then tosses the toy up in the air. The toy sticks to the ceiling,Lee stares in amazement.}
Bernie: Sticks to anything.
[it begs the question.. ummm how do you get it down?!]
[I love Bernie’s childlike quality. and that chuckle of his! It’s lovely..]
…Brings in a million a year for Titan.
[Judging by Lee’s reaction – it’s contagious!]
Lee: (disbelieving) A million a year?
Bernie: I don’t know. We were one big happy family… until this guy Falcon comes along, buys the place and changes the whole ball game.
Lee: Where’d he come from?
Bernie: Who knows?… (Notices Lee playing with a model airplane) …Don’t play with that…
[rofl!!!!] …He came in here, hired a bunch of PhDs right out of college, compartmentalized all the work stations and went high tech. Lee, every door is locked, everything is a big secret.
[I love how he whispers this last bit!]
Lee: Well, we live in an age of secrets, Bernie.
Bernie: yeah, but this guy, he’s nuts about it. (suddenly) Want some cider?
[rofl. it’s like Bernie is treating Lee like he’s a kid.]
Lee: (confused by change of topic) Yeah, sure
{Bernie grabs a remote, pushes a button and a little robot device comes out with a pot of cider on a tray. Lee looks amused. Bernie lifts two glasses off the tray and hands Lee one.}
Bernie: here you go.
Lee: Heh, heh, thanks.
[Lol this all takes about a minute! It’s like they spent a huge budget on this robot and had to make sure they aired it plenty! lol.]
{Bernie presses some more buttons and the robot leaves.}
Lee: (continuing) So he goes high tech, all the old time engineers get their walking papers… then what?
Bernie: Uh, I thought I’d be around for a while after he revived my tank. I mean the whole place was buzzing over the R&D that was supposed to go into my original design. We were supposed to be in the stores by Christmas…but, uh, this is it from Titan this year. (He reaches for a toy and holds up a plastic frog wearing a beanie.) Walter the Singing Frog. Go ahead, push his beanie.
[did they advertise these toys in the ad break?!]
Lee: (laughing) What?
Bernie: Go, push the beanie
Lee: (humouring him) All right.
{He pushes down on the frog’s head and it begins “singing”.
[those green eyes that flash are kind a creepy!]
Bernie pushes the head again and it stops. Bernie makes a noise of disgust and puts the frog down again.}
Lee: So what happened to your tank?
Bernie: Oh. Well the day before we were supposed to hit the assembly line, Falcon decides it wouldn’t turn a profit and he locked up the prototype. And then at the last minute, he takes Walter here and slaps him right onto the market. I saw the tank, Lee. It’s no different from the one that I made ten years ago. Balsa wood…plastic bullets…sparks. That’s it.
Lee: Where’d all the R & D go? Up the chimney?
{Bernie looks around and claps his hands twice. Cut to a small cat toy under the table which rolls out apparently in response to the clapping, startling Lee.}
Bernie: Wacky Kat. Supposedly the next hot item from Titan.
[the cat flashes it’s eyes. Whoa. more creepy eyes. I’m sensing a pattern here!
I gottta say, the smile Lee gives Bernie is adorable.. and makes all the creepy toy eyes worth it!]

[One clap and it does a spin]
…A squirt gun has got more hi tech inside of it.
Lee: Look Falcon didn’t hire a lot of MIT engineers just to sit on their hands. Now what is going on Bernie?
Bernie: I’ve seen it happen before.
Lee: What?
Bernie: A big company, they promise a designer a toy, develop it, and then they put it on the shelf claiming it’s too expensive to mass produce…then they turn around and then they sell the guts to another company and the designer’s left holding the bag. No bonuses, no royalties…no credit. Lee, please – can you help me?
Lee: Toys are hardly my expertise.
Bernie: Huh, and I suppose that putting little cameras in wristwatches were mine when you were in trouble.
[whooooo!!!! I want to hear more!!! And come on Lee, I thought you were…… Old Friends!]
Lee: All right. But I can’t promise you anything.
Bernie: Anything, anything would be better than me sitting here wondering if I’m on the bad end of a million dollar rip off.

Okey dokey. Lee has a new case! Anyone have any thoughts they’d like to share?? Back in a few days with the next post!