Second (sort of) Annual GOLDEN TEACUP AWARDS
By Cindy Davis
Welcome everyone, I’m CindyDee and I am honoured to be your host at this very prestigious awards ceremony.
It’s that time of year again, Just Walk With Me has wrapped up an amazing (and sometimes frustrating) second season. From the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows **coughCLASSACTcough**, the one thing every episode has in common are baddies that our dynamic duo have to outwit, outsmart and outdress.
The Golden Teacup Awards celebrate all the goodness of the baddieness of Scarecrow and Mrs. King. These are my picks for the top 5 baddies of Season 2. My criteria for the awards are simple. The Golden Teacup winners are baddies that I have enjoyed watching and would like to see more of. So even though Sinclair (Brunettes) is a seriously bad, sleazy guy, I don’t enjoy watching him so he’s not going to make my list. So Ha! YMMV.
1. Inga (Kristina Van Eyck) – The Times They Are a Changing
The smartly dressed Inga lays to rest the BadlyDressedBadGuy stereotype we saw in season one. (Seriously, Francine should be raiding her closet).
Such delicious over the top bad gal goodness. I was fascinated with how well her character was developed and the range the actress was allowed to show.
She was generous and willing let others take a turn. –“Maybe you should kill him now”. And decisive– “We’ll kill her now.”
Not afraid to take initiative — “We’ll kill her first and get the Baron’s permission later.” And not sexist — “Why don’t we kill both of them?” (Amanda and Haddy) No gender bias for our lovely Inga here!
She also wasn’t afraid to show her vulnerable, pleading side — “Let me kill them!”
When you think of it, the episode (and series) would have been much shorter if the Baron had let her simply kill our dynamic duo (and get her early Christmas present) rather tying up our heroes and leaving them within hopping distance of his precious Ming vase.
Now, before you get the idea that sweet Inga was just about killing, she showed her helpful nature by asking Lee if he lost his way at the staircase.
People may argue that since she immediately knocked him on the back of the head with her gun, this negates her altruistic gesture, but I contend that since she was really careful not to hit Lee in the face (not the face! Thank goodness, not the face!) and hit him in the perfect spot so he would not bruise his face or muss his hair as he tumbled down the stairs, she does have a soft spot under her brusque exterior.
She cemented her position on my list when she threatened to do something anatomically impossible to Ortiz with that horrid flute. This had nothing to do with fact that my daughter’s music teacher has been exhorting her students to ‘practice and practice lots’ on their recorders AT LEAST AN HOUR EVERY SINGLE DAY.*TWITCH* I think Inga showed remarkable restraint with only threatening Ortiz’s ear (this is a PG show, after all).
2. Robert Castille – Vigilante Mothers played by Daniel Davis (best known for his pivotal work as Niles, the butler of the Nanny fame). I’ve always been a huge Daniel Davis fan and was shocked to find out he is not British but an American raised in Arkansas. As Robert, he played a brilliant and convincing psychopath — as several of you pointed out, his character became an interesting counterpoint to Lee.
Robert was cold and ruthless, yet he was able to hide his true nature and become whatever the women he was using needed and wanted.
I think he differs from Alan in Artful Dodger in that for Alan, it really was about the money and everything and everyone was merely a means to an end whereas for Robert he really enjoys manipulating women and being in control.
He is a harbinger of more complex and scarier bad guys to come in the following seasons and despite the huge plot holes in Vigilante Mothers Daniel Davis made a very compelling and believable bad guy.
His Steam Soliloquy in the drycleaners gave me chills.
The powers that be must have loved him so much that he gets recycled as Tony Martinet in season 3 who becomes the manipulatee. Full circle Robert/Tony. Full Circle.
3. Frankie Columbus (Al Ruscio) – Life of the Party
Frankie: I’m a sad man today, Vic. I hardly got to know your brother, and now…
Vic: Mr Columbus.
Frankie: Paulie, fix the wreath. Make it look real nice. I wanna talk to this man here…..Oh, Vic, believe me, I wish I could do more. I can pay my respects, I can err… leave flowers as a token, but I can’t do what I’d like to do.
Vic: What’s that, Mr Columbus?
Frankie: I can’t turn back the clock, make things right with Malcolm again. Look, Vic. I know this ain’t the right time for me to say this to you… but I told you this might happen. This is what I feared the most. That day in my office, I warned you. I warned you someone was gonna try to muscle in. Didn’t I?
Vic: Yes. Yes, you did.
Frankie: Now, here you are. Here you are without a brother. You’re alone and still you got no protection.
Sure it’s stereotyped, but so much fun! Yes, Malcolm’s death was a little graphic by SMK standards (if you believe in karma, it was deserved), but Frankie lived by his own code of honour (warped, yes – but consistent in its own way) and I enjoy watching him.
I like a villain who is hands on and generous (and even though I don’t eat veal, I don’t think it would be wise to refuse Frankie’s gift of meat).
Of course I appreciate the skill that Frankie showed with the knife — slicing open Lee’s shirt and slicing that ugly tie without nicking our hero’s gorgeous, smooth, perfect abssssssssssssssss .
Oh yes, Lee’s abs,…….. Hmmmm wait! What was I saying?
Oh yes, Frankie Columbus. Great baddie! Another recycled actor as he has gets to chance to stretch his acting chops and play the (stereotyped) Russian Rostov in season 3.
4. Glen Tucker (Sam Melville) – Murder Between Friends
Proof Amanda really is in denial — no mention of how suspiciously similar Glen looks to her ex Joe. Unless it’s been so long since he’s been around (I don’t think he is in running for dad of the year) that she’s forgotten what he’s looked like.
For a bad guy — he’s pretty harsh — not only does he stab his business partner in cold blood in front of us! he has magic skills — he able to hold the steak knife with just enough force to stab poor Byron “He’s a Great Guy” Jordan but not too tight to smear Amanda’s fingerprints from the handle. Now that’s the hallmark of a real pro!
5. Rita Holden (Tricia O’Neil) – A Little Sex, a Little Scandal.
The female doppelgänger of Howie Mandal (back when he had hair), she is one of the more nasty villains. Pimp, blackmailer, lobbyist, and murderer — what can’t this ‘not-a-lady’ do? I love her confidence
– I don’t think I would have been able to hit on our gorgeous spy Lee with that hair-don’t (I’d be hiding around the corner) and I love that she gets involved. Once she realized the numbskulls she was working with were pretty useless, she takes matters into her own hands. And I learned something from Rita (other than a mullet is always a really bad idea!) – a purse can be quite useful. Normally I curse my purse as it causes all sorts of neck and back problems because I magically end up carrying a bunch of my children’s crap oops!, I mean treasures. But, because of Rita, I now know that I can carry not one or two but THREE smoke bombs, plus a gun and some lipstick along with my wallet, hairbrush and Tic Tacs. Much harder for a guy to haul those things around without being noticed. Yeah for GIRL POWER!
Now shockingly, she is a one time wonder actress for SMK, probably because she was in high demand on other shows playing distinct characters each time she appeared — Hawaii 5-O (3x), The Fall Guy (2x), MacGyver (2x), Simon & Simon (2x), Dallas (2x), Murder she Wrote (5 [yes 5!] x), Star Trek NG/DS9 (3x), Matlock (3x), Babylon 5(2x), JAG (2x). Whew!
TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE ANSWER: Darned if I can tell the difference!
6. Karen (Kate Jackson) – Odds on a Dead Pigeon
I debated whether to put this in the top 5 or in honourable mentions because as a villain, Karen is kind of lame (as all evil ‘twins’ are,) but you have to admit that she is a very dedicated assassin.
Not only did she undergo surgery to look exactly like Amanda but she also duplicated her wardrobe down to the last fugly earring.
I hope she was compensated extra for the psychological trauma. It was kind of weird that a woman who has so many kills under her belt would balk at getting rid of her double and leave it to the mealy mouth Gordon, but I guess shooting oneself would be kind of unnerving.
I am not sure if she is arrogant or deluded in thinking she could pull off Amanda
(the gal would reek of booze and cigarette smoke **COUGH**), but I will give her a pass because I am assuming this is the first time she is assuming someone’s identity.
I do have to give a shout out to how good Kate Jackson is in this episode. As was mentioned somewhere else (and I wish I could take credit for this observation!) KJ plays three distinct roles:
and Karen pretending to be Amanda.
And by randomly looking at screen shots from this episode I can usually pick out which character KJ is playing. The tipping point to include Karen here came when I realized that the majority of the Golden Teacup winners also had other roles on SMK so including Karen was a logical choice.
Yes, I know there are now six Golden Tea Cup awards, but I have been gritting teeth helping my daughter through the ‘new’ math where the emphasis is on estimating rather than getting the actual answer, because, heaven forbid we actually make math OBJECTIVE. It isn’t as if any careers (like a pharmacist, accountant, baker, chemist or engineer) would actually need precise measurements and exact calculations. INSERT EYE ROLL HERE. So if 6 is close enough to 5 (and by using 3 different strategies!) for the board of education, it’s good enough for these Golden Tea Cups.
To revisit Cindy’s favourite baddies of Season 1 see HERE.
I’ll be back with more baddie awards in the next post.
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Great post, Cindy. It was fun reminiscing about all the fun, over-the-top, lively baddies we’ve enjoyed so far. Thanks for sharing your favorites!
Thank you Cindy for giving us your top 6! You had me laughing and my husband chuckled after I explained why I was laughing. He said he had never noticed the baddies drinking tea…I guess I’ll have to make him rewatch them. Actually since we finished season 3 of SMK we started season 1 of Downton Abbey, which he seems to find amusing 🙂
Love this post, Cindy! So much fun. I do like that Frankie Columbus. So seemingly sincere.
I was noticing just how many of these baddies seem to be somewhat taken with Amanda. She is just being herself and attracts their attention. In the beginning Lee couldn’t fathom “Jim’s” attraction to Amanda in SAAB. He had to be forced by Billy to imagine Amanda as exotic and mysterious, whereas some of these guys seem to be taken with her right away. In SBTB the baddie thought she was charming. In TLCE she was able to call a truce. In Brunettes she was in. And Frankie was pretty taken with her. Poor Lee’s wall must have been steel reinforced. Fortunately Amanda was able to get through that wall.
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Thanks for the warm reception everyone! And a special thank you to IWSOD who not only provided the one screen cap I asked for, but punched up the post by giving us more (the many ‘varied’ faces of Inga cracked me up — thanks so much!). I appreciate the extra time you put in — just think, these two posts were supposed to give you a break!
And yes, the ‘new math’ is driving me nuts — even though we are patronizingly told it’s not New Math, it’s not ‘Common Core’ and not ‘Discovery Learning’ — it’s ‘Inquiry Learning’ and it’s going to prepare our students for 21st century learning! Except the math scores are drastically falling and the kids are failing and my youngest daughter now hates math. So taking a page from Amanda and MSE we are actually marching on the Legislative Building next month. Maybe we’ll be Mothers for Safe Equations. 🙂
I hope you all enjoy the next installment, thanks for your patience because I know we are all eagerly awaiting the Freudian slip heard ’round the world!
I loved these awards, and the golden teacup makes a fitting trophy! 😀
Someone recently tried to explain “New Math” to me, and I think it broke my brain. I could almost see what they were trying to do, but I don’t see why they’re doing it or why it’s supposed to be more efficient. From the description I was given, it sounded almost like they were doing math backwards. I’ve seriously been considering starting an off-topic thread on Nedlindgers to see if anyone who actually understands how this works can explain it me. The person I was talking to was a teacher who seemed to support New Math as being fast, yet when I met her and had this conversation, she was looking for math textbooks that explained basic math in order to help her students understand. O.o
Good luck on your march!
You are very welcome Cindy! It honestly was not trouble to insert some photos into your masterpiece! 🙂 I had already taken the photos.. so it really was not a big deal at all 🙂
It was a joy!
The Freudian slip hear ’round the world’ ??!!!! roflmbo!!!!
I think your baddie round up is perfect to look at before Over the limit.. a bit of light hearted enjoyment is just what we need before we dive into such a significant episode 🙂
I have written posts so far for half the episode.. and I’m now up to post 9! lol…[and yes busting to talk with you about it! but I’ll be patient!]
I think this episode could top DOA’s record (16 posts on that ep I think it was).. but we’ve waited so long for Over the Limit – why not savour it right?? 🙂
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Hey, Cindy Dee – I love your post! And based on how you define your criteria for the winners, I must say that I am in complete agreement with your choice of baddies. And even though I do find Mr. Bracken a little on the handsome side, I didn’t enjoy watching him. To quote Lee, “…’cause I don’t like you, Bracken. That’s why.”
Inga – yes! I am with her on Otis’ magic flute, except I’d like to shove it elsewhere. That little song he plays can keep me awake at night after I’ve watched that episode.
I think Castille is the cutest baddie too. Psychopathic and cute. I’m glad we got to see him again, even though it was between a rock and hard place.
Ahhh, Mr. Columbus – ya gotta love him. Any baddie with that much of an honor code as you point out can’t be all that bad. I admire that he has principles and sticks it to ‘em. I mean sticks to them.
Not only can Jordan stab a guy without ruining the fingerprints, he can do it without getting any blood on himself. Impressive! He is a gentleman-like killer, I guess.
And poor Rita…even Lee would shoot her. LOL. I do love the fact that she was a smart, strong woman, but it bugged me that she was stupid enough to pick such idiots for minions. Although if she hadn’t, we’d have never gotten that line about “little boys with squirt guns” not threatening them and the fact that she didn’t have time for that particular minion to grow up. It’s too bad, Rita. If you had found smarter minions, you’d still be running amok in DC today.
Was Rita a baddie on all those shows she guest starred on? Especially the ones in the 80’s? I’m pretty sure she was a baddie on MSWrote at least once.
And to steal a quote from you, “Oh. My. Heck!” ROFLMBO about the Howie Mandel side by side pictures! All that’s missing are big fugly earrings in both their ears! Hahahahaha!!!
I see that you have mastered the “new” math along with your daughter?!?! Too funny! It works though – and I agree, KJ did a phenomenal job with that episode!
Superb job, Cindy!! Thanks for the laughs. You have a wicked sense a humah! Can’t wait for part 2!
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We just saw a MacGyver that the actress of ‘Rita’ was on and she played an even more evil villan.
The ‘Rita’ actress played a rarity in the Star Trek universe. She was a female captain. In TNG episode she was in she was not a villain.
Ahh, love them baddies, and this is such a brilliant post. Well done Cindy! And all but one of my nominees for seriously bad baddies were amongst this lot.
As you all know, I like to drill down the baddie list to the ones who could easily translate with just a wee nudge and minor re-write into a grittier, more reality based SMK, i.e the kind of baddies you would be seriously scared of if you had to deal with them in real life.
Season 1 probably contained better examples of seriously bad baddies. The Season 2 baddies were toned down a bit IMHO.
So, onto kiwimsh’s Golden Knifey-Knifey Awards :
Number 1 for Season 2 has got to go to Frankie Columbus
“I’m a sad man today Vic…” What a great line!
I could believe this guy would be operating a meat business as a cover for his nefarious and violent crimes, and he’s so hands on with the knife and the meat carcasses (hard for a vege like me to watch!), and so neatly slicing Lee’s shirt and tie – but not the abs, eh Cindy 😉 He’s a no nonsense, hands-on, ruthless, not afraid to kill ya in a seriously bad way sort’ve guy. I like those traits in an SMK baddie. He made just one mistake – he under-estimated Amanda.
A great character played by an accomplished actor.
My second place goes to The Mongoose in TCAM. A baddie with an English accent always seems just a bit more malevolent. This guy was a smooth operator and a ruthless assassin too – remember he almost successfully garrotted Lee (without leaving a mark on his lovely neck – a sign of a real pro as you say Cindy). And, he wasn’t that easy for Lee to dispatch in the end. A character that could easily translate into the real world, played by a fine English actor.
Third Place goes to Robert Castille in VM – a little bit of psychosis mixed in with the evil intent goes a long way to nudging this guy close to the borders of reality. Ahhhh, the Steam Soliloquy…Creeeeeepy. However, he loses points for going in the end with a stupid elaborate plan to dispatch Amanda, leaving Lee a generous window of opportunity to save the day.
Runners up were Glen Tucker (EvilJoe) in MBF.
Tucker would be my top 3 except he and his cronies weren’t entirely believable and he failed miserably at the last hurdle in being so easily and embarrassingly dispatched by Lee (with assistance from Augie). But that surprisingly gritty knifey-knifey murder and some good acting by Sam Melville sees him deserve a mention.
Kate Jackson as Karen in OOADP would have been in my top picks except the story was a bit far-fetched. The notion of plastic surgery that turns someone into a mirror image of someone else is somewhat ridiculous. To fit this story into reality I would imagine she had surgery that from a distance might make someone mistake her for Amanda. But close up? No way.
Nevertheless, KJ acts a good seriously bad baddie. Like Frankie Columbus, Karen’s a no nonsense kind’ve baddie, a pro at what she does, and not afraid to kill or seriously maim. I like the way she shut down or poured scorn on Gordon Redding’s more ridiculous stupid elaborate plans – like the snake in the box. In saying that, she had at least one stupid elaborate plan of her own that back-fired, ala the gun set up to go off when Lee came in the door. Why not just stay inside the house and shoot him when he comes in?
Inga? Yeah, she’s a scary-ass, butch looking chic but in the end she was pretty much all talk and, apart from helping Lee down the stairs, no action. But agree with you Cindy, she had some great lines and was the scariest of the bad guy set in that episode. Of course, I was so very distracted throughout this episode by heart-thumping, stunningly handsome EuropeanLee, I will admit to not paying much attention to much else that was going on. Inga who?
Rita was quite believable as an evil blackmailing, murdering political lobbyist. But she just couldn’t quite successfully pull off any of her nefarious plans in this episode. For me, her hair-don’t and scary-starey eyes ended up being the most disturbing things about her.
Sinclair in Brunettes just didn’t have that scare factor for me. Of course, being more or less a family show, there was only so far they could go with his character and portraying the sort of business he was in. Perhaps the acting was a bit weak too from the baddies in this episode. Meh.
Of course, the Lee and Amanda parts of this episode were pure gold, so may be the baddies just couldn’t compete.
That all (and probably quite enough) from me. 🙂
Oooh wish I had come up with the golden knifey-knifey awards. Or maybe the Golden Bendy Knifey-knifey Awards. 😉
ROFL – the Golden Bendy Knifey-Knifey Awards. Good one Cindy!
Finally I get to respond! Cindy I love love love your post!!! such an all out celebration of smk baddies.. from the ridiculous to the sublime!
I can’t wait to find out what you are covering in the second part of this! 🙂
your golden teacup is fabulous!!!! So inspired!!! So refined!! and.. So flippin hilarious! 🙂
Ahhh you are so on the money when it comes to Inga.. I confess your analysis of Inga’s dialogue and what it says about her character is soooo funny because it appeals to the psychologist in me! [and reminds me a little of Fiona in Burn Notice! ‘can we shoot them?!’ ]
roflmbo Cindy!!! You’ve summed it up perfectly!! so much talk of killing, it’s how Inga expresses herself 😉 haaaaa!!!
I confess I loved Frankie’s dialogue – because it was laden with double meaning, on the surface caring and sincere – but underneath, he was really saying things that were murderous and evil! [Hmm does that sound like a description of Francine?!]
I also enjoyed his side kick.. hey Cindy have you ever thought of doing a post on the smk baddie sidekick? or goon?? or anyone else like to have fun with that?? I did love how Paulie seemed to have a total bromance for Frankie.. and Loved that he stole money out of Lee’s wallet while Lee was hanging from the meathook!
So um.. who is Howie?
Mmm that would be me who said KJ plays three characters in OOADP.. though I think others could have said this – I just said it first because it was in my post
I think lately I have tended less toward the fun and more towards the deeper exploration of smk.. I do hope not too far away from the fun though – but gosh Cindy this is so much fun I just love it!
Love that you have expressed your love for smk in such a fun and very Cindy way!!!
I love that our love for smk can be expressed in funny ways.. silly ways.. cerebral ways.. narky ways.. whatever ways!!! It’s all good!!!
Cindy- We Salute you!! 🙂
Howie is Howie Mandel. He’s a comedian and the host of Deal or No Deal.
I remember him from the cartoon Bobby’s World when I was a kid. It was about a little boy named Bobby and his wild imagination, and Howie played Bobby’s dad. I think of that show every time I watch the first episode of SMK and see the part where Billy assures Dirk that they “have done diddly!” I can’t remember the exact routine anymore, but in one episode, Bobby was rescued from something by a strange guy named Bo who supposedly knew all sorts of things. It went something like this:
Bobby: Do you know swimming?
Bo: Bo knows swimming!
Bobby: Do you know tennis?
Bo: Bo knows tennis!
Bobby: Do you know diddly?
Bo: Bo knows diddly!
So, watching The First Time, I always think:
Dirk: Do you know diddly?
Billy: We know diddly!
thanks for explaining Jestress! Scary stuff!
I tried to find a good picture of Howie as Bobby’s dad — his mullet in that show was closer to Amanda’s and Rita’s hairdon’ts but I didn’t have any luck. Maybe that was a good thing.
You know, I was looking at the pictures comparing Howie and Rita, and it suddenly occurred to me that Amanda’s hair-don’t (I love whoever first coined that term) also looks kind of like Howie’s. In fact, Ortiz’s hair also looks like that, not to mention Haddy from the same episode.
OMG – this is absolutely freaking brilliant, Cindy! 🙂 High five!!!
Hah hah! Love the baddies awards Cindy! Great job! Inga is my favorite and you have captured her compassionate side so well 😉 Ah, once again new math rears it’s ugly head again. Uh oh, does this mean shoulder pads and fugly ear buttons will come around again? Quick, run! (Just avoid dry cleaners and your local lobbyist)
(I’ve seen some small shoulder pads and lots of peplums. No button earring yet though.)
Ah, dear Inga, with her one-track mind and apparent love of black leather! You are so right about her “many” moods. Check out all those fantastic facial expressions! She does make an excellent Baddie #1!
Your screen caps are brilliant and it was fun to see the baddies at there worst.
I also enjoyed your Common Core math lesson. Thank you for the enlightenment.
hiya Morley.. stay tuned! Cindy’s actual award she has created will be coming soon!
I did the screen caps – but the upcoming award and all the rest of the post is all Cindy 🙂
I love Cindy’s maths also 🙂 tee hee… my kinda maths!
Wait ’til you see the actual award. 🙂
Oh noes!!! the award ceremony has suffered a technical glitch!
You know how it is with Live Broadcasts and all 😉
Please stand by while we fix this technical issue! 🙂
Iwsod will add Cindy’s Golden Teacup award to the post as soon as she can! 🙂
[I’ll add it to comments also for good measure!]
BTW- loved your post!! lol.. sorry I don’t have time to respond properly just now but I will get back to this and respond properly.. LOL you are too funny!! byeee
Cindy sorry- I’ve been unable to send emails this morning.. grrr.. I’ve just logged onto my mail server online and tried to send you an email about how I can get your wonderful award here for everyone to enjoy – can you please check your email and let me know how you go? thanks!
Cindy’s Golden Teacup award has now been added to her post – Genius Cindy!!! 🙂 Love them tea sipping baddies! so refined! 😉
Here it is again: